Monday, January 22, 2007

They Are Everywhere

I thought the guy on this video was one of the stupidest people I've ever seen:

Then I was thinking to my self that the video is probably made-up. I mean, could that guy really be that stupid?

Maybe the guy who lets his 18 year-old girlfriend do burnouts in his 800 horsepower Corvette is the stupidest (especially if he films it for everyone to see). She sounds like she knows what she is doing- until the car starts moving:

But then I saw this video of a guy robbing a liquor store. It doesn't go too well. Now, definitely, I've seen the stupidest of all:

What's wrong with these people?

I think it all comes down to parental supervision- or lack thereof. These people probably never had anyone to knock them back in line when they screwed up.

What they need is a strong father figure. You know, someone like
Red Forman from That 70's Show:

I think everyone sees a little bit of their own dad in Red's tirades! Some of his other great quotes:

Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.

[to Eric] So, this is how an engaged high school dumbass with no car, no job, and no money trims the hedges.

Red Forman: Do you know why Tiny Tim walked with a crutch?
Eric: Because he had a smart mouth?
Red Forman: That's right.

Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you? is because you're a dumbass.

[Eric catches his parents having sex, and they find out]
Kitty Forman: Red, say something.
Red Forman: It's more fun than it looks.

We're all gonna go to church and we're gonna have a damn nice Sunday.

Eric: [badly hungover] My head hurts.
Red Forman: That's your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun. But if you mix them, they can turn you into a dumbass.

Bob Pinciotti: You know Red, that hurts.
Red Forman: So does a swift kick in the ass.
Bob Pinciotti: You know, Red, a kick in the ass isn't the solution to everything.
Red Forman: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to disagree with that, Bob.

Red Forman: [to Fez] Hey, Ali Baba. Close Sesame.

If you ever do anything like that again, I will kick your ass so hard, your nose will bleed.

Once again, an open bar spells disaster for the Foreman family.

Dear Lord, would it kill you to give the Packers a winning season? Oh, and uh, watch over my loving family, blah blah blah...

Eric: I believe that everyone's political opinion is valid, and worth hearing.
Red Forman: Well that's perfect Eric. Use that line when you run for Miss America.

Kitty, I've got two stages: anger, and drinking.

Damn kids today. They wouldn't know responsibility if it walked up and bit them in the ass.

Eric, I thought I told you to wash up for dinner. I know, it's difficult to hear with your head up your ass.

I've been working since I was sixteen. I fought two in wars. Hell, I've killed people. I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy it...

I like the sound of a beer church.

Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs put their foot in your ass.

Yeah, and if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass when he hops.

[Red on young people]
Red Forman: Get a job, HA. It's just party all night, dance all day, and sex
everywhere in between.

Red Forman: I'm glad he's in prison for bribery. People like him give a bad name to Republicans.

Eric: Yeah, all the honest ones, like Richard Nixon.
[Everybody moves away from Eric]
Red Forman: What did you just say?
Uhh... I said Nixon was framed, and Kennedy was a commie?

Red Forman: Damn right.

Red Forman: So, you mean, we met by you bumping into my ass?
Kitty Forman: I guess so.
Red Forman: Ok, but if Eric asks, I punched out a marine, defending your honor.
Kitty Forman: And, I wasn't drunk, I was reading for the blind.
Red Forman: Deal.

[to Eric] Happy Birthday. You know, the lawn's not gonna cut itself.

[Red watches Tv]
Red Forman: Aw, Gilligan screwed it up. Why don't they just kill him?

You know all that rent money you've been giving us? I've been putting it all in a bank account for your college fees... or bail.

Kitty Forman: I want to have a baby.
Red Forman: You still got Eric. He's kinda like a baby. I can make him cry if you
want to.

Red Forman: [to Eric] This is the worst thing you've ever done.
Bob Pinciotti: [to Donna] You too.
Red Forman: You're gonna drive Donna home, and then you're gonna wait for me.
That's an order.

Bob Pinciotti: Ditto... Aww, come here. I can't stay mad at you with that cute face.
[hugs her; Eric looks at Red with open arms]

Red Forman: Get your ugly ass in the car.

Kitty Forman: You know, maybe Eric's test score is a blessing. It will be a good
story when he's a senator.

Red Forman: Senator? The word you're looking for is JANITOR.

Bob Pinciotti: You're my best friend!
Red: No I'm not!

[At Breakfast]
Eric: Hey, leggo my Eggo.
Red Forman: Hey, leggo my foot in your ass.

Is that kid from not America still here?

Bob's always upset. He's a little girl in big boy pants.

What the hell kind of a world are we living in? 'Hey, let's date other people.' 'Hey, let's date other people, but ditch them and do it in a car.' In my day, we called them degenerates, and we STONED them.

[on taking care of Red's parking ticket]
Nina: I can't take care of this. You were parked in a fire zone.
Red Forman: I was buying some milk.
Nina: But what if there was a fire?
Red Forman: Then I'd pour my milk on it.

I'm... sorry that I took your money out of your little box, when I feed you and clothe you and put a roof over your head. Sorrrrry.

Yeah, you can't compete with those damn foreign imports. You know, if I had seen this coming, I would've shot a little straighter during the war.

Earl, I didn't make you too dumb to flip burgers. It's God fault.

[seeing Donna and Eric cavorting on the kitchen table]
Red: Damn it. That's where I eat dinner.

Well, I'd like to help, but not as much as I'd like not to.

Steven, you're 18 now. It's time to start being a man. And the first rule to being a man is you gotta spend your life doing crap you don't wanna do.

Hey, I go to church... just not during televised sporting events.

[on Kitty's new health food diet] Oh, come on! This isn't food! This is what food eats!

Kitty Forman: Here you are, Red. Breakfast, egg whites only.
Red Forman: But the yellow part's the baby bird. That's the part I want to eat!

Steven, I've come to think of you as a son. So I want to give you some honest, heart-felt advice. Get your head out of your ass.

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