Hole In One

Why is there a photo of my golf bag at the top of this post?

Did I golf on Saturday? Did I actually hit a hole in one?

Well, I certainly didn't golf. And I didn't exactly hit a hole in one.

The story begins on Friday night after work. I met one of my coworkers in Mystic for a couple of drinks. We started at Azu, which was kind of boring and sterile inside. So we headed "across the bridge" to John's Cafe. It was a much more relaxed atmosphere and we started talking baseball with the bartender and a couple of other guys in there.

Needless to say, at an Irish bar, the beers kept flowing. For some reason, I wasn't drinking my normal light beers. I was mostly drinking Smithwicks Ale, from Ireland but mixed in a couple of pints of other types of beer.

I got home around 11:00 and headed straight for bed because I wanted to go kayaking early on Saturday.

I woke ready to go. Well, not exactly. My body hurt. My head hurt. I didn't eat anything Friday night, so my stomach hurt.

I wasn't going to let this stop me from kayaking, however. I had a book in my car about smooth water kayaking in Connecticut that I wanted to look at before I went. Now that I have a car payment, I always lock my car, so I went to grab my keys out of my pants.

I'm pretty particular about my keys. I always keep them in my left, front pocket. I'm always worried about losing them (I don't think I have spares for anything!) so I rarely let them get too far away.

So, I go to fetch my keys and they aren't there. No problem, I probably left them in the door (it happens sometimes!). Not there, either. OK. I probably left them on the table. Nope, no keys on the table.

A minor panic set it, but the keys had to be in the house, because I used them to get in, right? I did remember throwing a minor fit when I got home Friday night because I had a problem unlocking my door (thanks, Smithwicks!). I threw my water bottles and lunch bag on the ground when I got in so I started thinking I tossed my keys at the same time.

For the first hour of the search, I moved all my furniture, stripped the sheets off my bed, pulled the covers off of my heating vents, checked on all my tables, in the cushions of couches and chairs- all the somewhat obvious places.

Now I'm getting desperate. For the next half hour, I started checking in strange places, outside under my deck, in the toilet, in the 'fridge and freezer, in my trash pails (fun with a hangover), in the pots of my plants, in my dirty clothes, and on and on.

Finally, I did find them- in the last place I looked (if you can believe that!). I keep my golf clubs (pictured above) about 10 feet from my front door just in case I get a last minute golf date. I play a couple of times a year, but I'm always ready! I decided to empty my clubs out and turn over the bag. Sure enough, my keys came tumbling out!

With my little fit the night before, I guess I threw my keys and, somehow, they fell down one of the little holes in the top of my golf bag! It was a one in a million shot and I guess you can call it my first "hole in one."

New York City Pictures

For about a year now I've been saying I want to go to New York to take photos of the Brooklyn Bridge.

Of course, I still haven't gone. The other night I watched a PBS special on the construction of the bridge. I had seen it before but it reminded me that it was truly an engineering marvel when it was built.

I recently came across a bunch of pictures on Flickr by a photographer named Arnold Pounteau. This album is named NYC at Night and I think they are the best photos I've ever seen of New York. An example is below. Click on it for many more great shots.

Next, is an interesting site called Shorpy: The 100-Year Photo Blog. The site is named after Shorpy Higginbotham, who was a boy who worked in an Alabama coal mine around 1900. There are photographs of everything from home life to work (including some pictures of man employed as a "rat catcher"). Click the photo below for more.

Finally, I guess I'm expanding my horizons a little. I actually discovered a piano video that I approve of that doesn't involve Victor Borge. This is called "Rachmaninov Had Big Hands." Enjoy:

Piano Music

I was forced to take piano lessons when I was a kid.

I mean really forced. I'm sure at some point, when I was six years old or so, I must have asked my parents if I could take piano lessons. At least that's what they always told me. But I hated it from day one.

My mom played piano. Both my brothers enjoy playing. My sister still plays all the time.

Me? My piano career came to a screeching halt when I was about 13 and my dad tore up all my piano books (they aren't cheap!) after I refused to practice one too many times. Then, I had to call my piano teacher to explain to her that I would not be coming in for any more lessons.

I still hate the sound of the piano. Listening to piano music makes me very tense and quickly gives me a headache. I know I'm not normal, but I'm serious. I can appreciate the talent that it takes to play some pieces, but I don't want to have to listen to it.

The only exception is Victor Borge. I've always loved watching him.

Watch part 2 here. I guess he plays so badly that I like it!

Speaking of comedy and music, check out this video of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody performed by the Austrian brass ensemble, Mnozil Brass:

Next, check out this video of a group singing In the Air Tonight on the Paris Metro:

Humor?

Robert DeNiro opened Saturday Night Live with this parody of a Homeland Security conference.

I thought it was hysterical. Knowing that DeNiro is a top-shelf actor (in my amateur opinion), but still has fun with this skit makes it even funnier.

The comments on You-Tube, however, blast DeNiro for this appearance, claiming he is promoting negative stereotypes. One of them states:

it's SNL, I didn't know. Regardless that it's SNL, or if Tom Hanks appeared on
it, it doesn't validate making fun of names that some people might not
comprehend. It's just not right making fun of any name, taking the long arabic
names and giving them obscene characteristics. This video isn't making fun of
the government, but the actual arabic names. Actors are actors, and we like them
for their performances, not who they are in reality.

Am I wrong to find this humorous?

I think the more serious problem is the targeting our government is doing on Americans and the abuses allowed by the Patriot Act. We'll save that discussion for another day, though.

As Benjamin Franklin may have said, "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

This little animated short sums up a few of the problems with allowing the government access to our private information.

"Mr. President, you're leading us off a cliff. Stop!"

At least Jon Stewart can make me laugh at the insanity of this administration:

This Week's Uncle Jay

Uncle Jay is taking a week off from the news but talks about our government this time:

I've also had this video saved of the opening to the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson but I haven't found any topic to add it to, so I'll just stick it here.

He begins most shows with an opening monologue where he picks a topic from the news and talks about it for 10 or 15 minutes.

In this video, he turns a little serious and tries to expose the sadness that many of the new outlets overlook when discussing the lives of many of our pop icons. Last week, he announced he will no longer be doing any jokes about Britney Spears, saying, "I don't want to talk about sick people like that."

Iced Out

The good news this weekend was the switch to daylight-savings time.

It is really depressing when you get home from work in the dark and have to turn on all of your lights as you walk in the door. When I heard they were going to extend daylight-savings time by 4 weeks this year (3 weeks earlier in the spring, one week later in the fall), I was ecstatic.

Of course, as some of you know, I own many clocks and normally it takes me awhile before I get around to updating all of them. I was so happy this year, however, that I already changed them all!

And I don't want to hear anyone complaining, "But we are losing an hour of sleep." C'mon, it's a tiny price to pay for the extra daylight. Be happy you don't live in northwestern Indiana: they not only moved their clock one hour ahead for daylight-savings, but they also switched from the Central Time Zone to the Eastern Time Zone. In effect, they "lost" two hours Sunday morning.

Indiana is one of the more confusing states when it comes to keeping the correct time. You can read more here and here.

The bad news this weekend is that I wasn't able to launch my kayak for her maiden voyage as I had planned.

All the fresh water lakes are still frozen around here. I thought by Sunday, I might be able sneak in for a quick paddle, but I couldn't do it.

Some of my co-workers were worried about my maiden voyage.

Really, what could go wrong? The water temperature is near freezing, I've never kayaked before, and my swimming skills would make a 5 year-old laugh!

I did read up on the effects of being immersed in cold water. It turns out that in 40 degree water, a healthy individual can remain conscious for about a hour. The real problem with that hour survival time is that it assumes no exertion, just being balled up to conserve heat. Any movement (such as trying to climb back into a kayak or swimming to shore) can reduce your survival time to a matter of minutes. Cold water removes body heat about 25 times faster than cold air. Also, your hands, being one of the extremities that your body reduces heat to first, become numb almost immediately, making it impossible to swim at all.

Well, maybe by next weekend the water will be a little warmer, right?

On the subject of water sports, check out this video. It's called "Slip and Die" for obvious reasons.

Life of Smokeshow: Sunday Edition

World's Worst. . .

. . . weatherman:


. . . sportscaster ("boom goes the dynamite"):


. . . goalkeepers:


. . . singing in a stadium:


. . . bagpiper:

Ice and Snow

I really like this guy Uncle Jay and his videos "Uncle Jay Explains." Here is his newest:

Last week was one of the longest, biggest, and maybe dumbest hockey fights I've ever seen. I've said before, I'm not a hockey fan and I don't understand why they allow fighting. Are there any other sports where the referees stand around and watch the players punch each other for a minute or two before deciding to break it up?

Anyway, this fight goes on and on. Even the goalies square off and then the coaches almost come to blows. Take a look:

Next up it a reporter coming to you live during a big snowstorm in Cleveland. I guess some people don't take the cold weather as seriously as others.

Finally, here's is some interesting ice that formed on Lake Superior. It's completely clear so you can see the rocks below the surface.

Some days. . .

Some days. . .

I spend at least four hours of my day dealing face-to-face with the patrons at the library.

Most of the time it is great. I have met a lot of great people through this job. Nearly every day I have at least one interesting conversation with a patron. I'll learn something new or find out that the patron and I have something in common that neither of us knew about. It is always interesting.

Unfortunately, there are also patrons who are moody, annoying, and sometimes plain old rude. I could go on and on about the crazy sights I see every day.

Actually, there are library blogs out there that do a better job explaining the weirdness that I see in the library than I could ever hope to. My favorite is the Happyville Library.

Today's annoyance revolves around our patrons' fear of snow.

We live in New England, so whether we like it or not, it's going to snow in the winter. This year we have had it incredibly easy- I don't think we've had 6 inches all season. The towns in our area also do a pretty good job of clearing the roads (of course they also dump about an inch think layer of salt at the same time so cars look great after every snow storm!). Typically, within a few hours after a snow storm, most of our roads are clear.

Nevertheless, all it takes is the threat of bad weather and our phone starts ringing with patrons asking what will happen if it snows and they can't get in to return their movies.

Now, if it really does snow, forget about it. The library waives any overdue fees when the weather is bad. We don't expect people to take any risks to return a couple of videos. We have a lot of senior citizens and parents with young children who use the library, and I wouldn't want them driving through the snow.

However, last night we received our biggest snowfall this winter- about 3 inches. The snow was done by early this morning, the temperature rose to almost 40 degrees, and the roads were totally clear. And people were actually calling us claiming that they were unable to make it out of their houses.

Tomorrow, patrons will file in all day with a guilty look on their faces carrying a stack of DVDs. You know what's coming: "I'm sorry, they snow was really bad yesterday and I couldn't get in to return these."

Like I said, some members of the community shouldn't be expected to come out in bad weather. But these are young, healthy (I presume), active people. Am I supposed to believe, because of 3 inches of snow, they were afraid to "venture" out of their house? Somehow, I don't think so.

Of course, we simply waive the fines. It really isn't worth worrying about, but it does get old after awhile. I would love to lecture some of them. Tell them about taking some responsibility.

Speaking of lecturing, I found this video on the internet over the weekend. It makes me feel a little better. Judge Judy really lets loose on an obnoxious defendant. Oh, I would love to act like this- just once- at the library!

Kayak

Alright, for those of you tired of listening to me hem and haw about buying my kayak, I have some good news. I finally hit the "buy" button and ordered the kayak tonight.

It's a hardshell inflatable (whatever that is!) made a company called Advanced Elements. I bought the 13' long AdvanceFrame Expedition and can hold 450 pounds. It has received a lot of good reviews and I purchased it for a good price from an Ebay store.

I'll keep you updated.

To celebrate, here are some water related videos. The first one is about a huge disaster at a Lake Peigneur salt mine. Watch what happens:


And here's a cool waterfall video:

Finally, I spent hours this afternoon trying to get my web cam to stream video to the internet like I did at my brother's Super Bowl party. After a lot of reading and changing settings on my internet connection, here it is. Enjoy looking at my TV:

New Edition (or New Kid on the Block)

Man, I really hated both of those bands.

In case anyone doesn't know yet, my brother Alex and his wife welcomed a new addition to their family the other night.

Eli Matthew was born on Tuesday at 11:06 PM and weighed in at 8 pounds 11 ounces.

Now I really can't wait to head out to see them!

News- Simply Sad

I'm all for simplifying the news and so is Uncle Jay, apparently:

He's pretty funny, actually. Or maybe it's just the news he is reporting that is so funny. I can't imagine watching the nightly network news with little kids. The questions they would ask!

Click here for more from Uncle Jay.

Uncle Jay brought up the death of Anna Nicole Smith. I was kind of bummed when I heard she died. There has been a ton of old videos posted of her (some I can post and some I can't), but this one is crazy:

Finally, speaking of sad and crazy news, did you hear about the guy who died in his home on Long Island?

Well, he died more than a year ago, but people just found out about it recently.

Seventy year-old Vincenzo Ricardo's mummified body was found sitting in his chair with the TV still on, even though he has been dead for over a year. No one in his neighborhood noticed until a pipe recently burst in his house. His cable and heat were off but his electricity was still on. The post office stopped delivering his mail when they figured he just didn't live there anymore but left his mailbox overfilled with mail.

Sadly, the police contacted his son who told them that they were estranged. It looks like Ricardo requested that his family leave him alone. Oh, man.

Louis' Lunch

The good news this morning is that it is a bright and sunny and I have today off for Presidents' Day.

The bad news is the temperature is only 8 degrees and the wind is blowing at 25 to 35 miles per hour. Including the wind chill, it feels like -15 or so.

On the bright side, the temperature was 6 degrees an hour ago, so it is rising- a little!

I had this past Friday off and Kevin and the two-Kathys met me at Louis' Lunch in New Haven- the supposed inventor of the hamburger. Their website says that in 1900 a customer came in looking for a quick meal he could eat for lunch on the run. Louis Lassen, the luncheonette's owner, broiled a beef patty which he put between two slices of bread and sent him off with it.

The first hamburger was served.

Today, Louis' grandson runs the business where the burgers are broiled vertically in the original cast iron grill.

So we arrived at Louis' Lunch a few minutes before they opened and there were about 10 or 12 people already waiting outside. And let me tell you, the place is tiny! We had to stand outside for about 10 minutes after they opened before we could even get inside to wait in line.

We did find seats once we ordered (4 cheeseburgers with "the works" and 4 birch beers). I liked the guy behind the counter because he was wearing a Mariano Rivera shirt, but he acted like he was once tiny step away from tossing out anyone who wasn't abiding by his rules- kind of soup-nazi-ish.

The cheeseburgers finally arrived but they were gone too fast. If I were to rate the burger, I would put it one notch below the steamed cheeseburgers at Ted's Restaurant. The whole Louis' Lunch experience is great, however. It's noisy with lots of bantering back and forth between the customers and the people behind the counter and, did I mention it's small? You can hear it all.

From there I went to Ikea and then met everyone at Archie Moore's for wings. I must have been off my game Friday because I could only eat about 10 wings. That was kind of a let down, but they are still the best wings in the world.

Speaking of being "off my game," I only counted about 10 "I"s in this post. I say this because a co-worker of mine tells me I'm only concerned with myself and that everything always has to be about me!

Well, Jayne, just so you know, I want this CD set for my birthday:


And, by the way, the temperature is still rocketing up- it's 10 degrees now!