The Life of Smokeshow

No Sleep 'Til . . .

2007-05-16T21:46:00.000-04:00

I just read an article (here) about a guy named Tony Wright. He is, at this very moment (Wednesday night), attempting to break the sleep deprivation record. He is coming up on three whole days awake.

The current record was set back in 1964. A 17 year old named Randy Gardner went 264 hours without sleep. Tony Wright thinks he can beat this.

If you want to follow along and see if the record falls, you can watch it live via a web cam. Click here. From the looks of it, I guess he's just going to play pool for the next few days.

Of course, not sleeping does all kinds of weird stuff to your body and your mind so maybe we can witness a mental breakdown or something!

Vacation Ends

2007-04-28T08:14:00.000-04:00

Well, that's it!

I decided to drive home today (Saturday) so I will have one day to recover from vacation before the shock of going back to work.

Alex and I ended the trip on a high note (weather excluded) by taking Jacob and Lauren to a Toledo Mudhens game Friday night.

Unfortunately, the only interest the kids had in the game was the M & M's Alex brought for them. Oh yeah, and the popcorn and pretzel. But they did well, considering the game started after their normal bed time, the temperature was below 50 degrees, and it was between misting and drizzling most of the time.

The highlight was when Jacob and Alex went "potty." Lauren and I were standing over the right field corner when a foul ball came rolling towards us. The Mudhen's right fielder picked it up and tossed it to us! Both of us were shocked.

I had to break the news to Jacob when he got back that he missed Uncle Joe catching a ball.

It gets even better after that! We left the game around the sixth inning and, on the way to the car, we found another game ball on the sidewalk! Both Jacob and Lauren ended up with baseballs.

The kids were so excited that they didn't even sleep on the ride home until we were almost in the driveway. Lauren was taking everything we said and repeating it over and over. It was pretty funny. She may have been delirious from being so far past bedtime.

So that's it. Vacation's over. I have a million other stories (really, a million!) to share so will have to add them to the blog before they drift from my memory. This Ohio trip has been the most fun and I even got some relaxation in during "quiet time" in the afternoon.

Now let's see if I can deal with going back to work on Monday!

Vacation Begins

2007-04-23T19:32:00.000-04:00

Can we talk about something other than the Yankees?

For those of you who are not baseball fans, this was not the best weekend for the Yanks. My brother and I were excited to watch three games against the Red Sox all with national TV coverage so we get to see them here in Ohio. And in every game, the Yankees were embarrassed by the Red Sox.

Friday night Mariano Rivera blew a save, after a great pitching performance by Andy Pettitte and two home runs from A-Rod. Sunday night, the Yankees gave up four straight home runs to Red Sox batters enabling the first sweep of the Yankees at Fenway since 1990. Great.

OK, enough about that. The Yankees are playing the Devil Rays tonight so I'm fairly certain their fortunes will change for the better.

Who wants to hear about Ohio?

I left my house Friday morning at exactly 4:20 AM (on 4/20) and didn't stop until I was at the Waffle House in Scranton, PA, 200 miles later. I really was tired on that leg of the trip, but there was very little traffic (I wonder why at that hour?!?!) and the time flew by.

As a lot of you know, I couldn't wait to get to the Waffle House. I walked in and was immediately greeted with a "Good Morning!" and I answered, "I'm so glad to see you!"
I sat at the counter overlooking the grill and it was definitely worth the drive. The food, coffee, and service were exceptional. I made sure to tell them I would be back next Sunday.

The rest of the drive to Ohio was surprisingly uneventful and easy. I made it to Bowling Green at about 3:30 PM with no back pain and I only used about 1-1/3 tanks of gas.

I unpacked, ate dinner, and then Alex and I went out to Grumpy Dave's to see a band composed of a some of his students. I think Alex was as tired as I was.

It was a fun night and we made it until about 1:00 AM. I got to meet a lot of his students (they all called him "Dr. Goberman"!) and they were extremely nice. Alex quit after two beers but I kept going until we left. I did feel a little old hanging out with all these college students, but Alex and I enjoyed reminiscing about our college days.
Morning came early on Saturday but we had plans for the Toledo Zoo. Alex, Jacob, Lauren, and I went (we even remembered the stroller this time!). Both kids have been to this zoo many times so they know exactly where they want to go. Jacob read the map and was our tour guide.

The highlight for me was watching Jacob and Lauren on the carousel. Lauren was very hesitant about getting on and she was hanging on for dear life when it started spinning, but she loved it! I was really proud of her for keeping up with her big brother.

After a stop at "Old" McDonald's and a little quiet time, the rest of the afternoon was spent playing outside on the playset and in the sandbox.

What a first 24 hours in Ohio! As always, the kids a great and Alex and Claire couldn't be better hosts. They always made me feel comfortable. And, of course, Eli is the cutest 2-month old in the world!

It's Monday night now and Alex and I are heading out to Kroger's for some Vernor's and ice cream (which I just learned is called a Boston Cooler). I'll try to post tomorrow about our Sunday and Monday adventures (including a train ride and fire trucks!).

Ohio!

2007-04-23T08:32:00.000-04:00

Wow- it's already Monday and I haven't posted anything about my trip yet!

We have been so busy that I am only about half way done uploading my pictures from my first day here. I don't know how Alex and Claire do it- these kids never stop moving!

Anyway, Alex and I now have my web stream working from his house so check it out below. I'll try to keep it on when we're home (which isn't often!).

I have uploaded some videos to youtube from Saturday. My favorite is below. I was having the kids call me "Uncle Tater" in public to see if anyone would look at us funny.

Click here for more videos. In some of them you can see Eli smiling, which he just learned to do in the past few days.

Now I'm off to school with Jacob and Lauren. We're taking a field trip to the fire house!

Free Live Webcams - solution by Camstreams

Travelling Man

2007-04-17T08:55:00.000-04:00

When I travel by car, I look forward to the drive as much as anything.

From the first day I got my license, I would drive anywhere just to say I did it. I had a sweet deal, too- I could use my dad's company car any time I wanted and they paid for all the gas. Can you imagine that?

Of course, it was too good to be true. After I crashed the car head-on in to a tree, I was banned from the company car.

So I bought my own car. I picked up a 1984 Ford Crown Victoria police cruiser which previously used by the Clinton Police Department as car 13. As long as I could afford to put gas in it (14 miles per gallon), the highways were mine.

In college, my friends and I took many road trips. We drove to Washington D.C. in the middle of the night, walked up the steps of the Capital building, then turned around and drove back to school. I drove to Florida a few times. One time I just woke up on the Saturday of spring break, told my mom I was going to Daytona, and left that morning. She thought I was crazy.

And for all the trips I made, I used a pocket map of the United States. I would look at it and think, "It's only 1/2 inch on the map, how long can that take?" Of course, the scale of the map would mean that it would take many hours to travel the "1/2 inch."

Today, I don't travel anywhere without planning the drive ahead of time. I gather maps, printed directions, my cell phone, and at least two water bottles. And with gas nearly $3.00 per gallon, it's cheaper to fly most places than drive anyway.

I viewed a web site recently about a guy who left work at 5:00 PM on a Friday, visited all 50 states on his week-long vacation, and was back to his job at 8:00 AM Monday morning. He drove a rental car to all 48 of the contiguous states and flew to Alaska and Hawaii.

He drove over 8500 miles, stopped for gas 22 times, and the whole trip cost about $2750. In order to hit all the states in just over a week, he had to drive about 1100 miles per day.

Pretty amazing. You can read all about it here, how he planned for it here, and he answers many of the questions he's been asked about the trip here.

I think the part I like best about the trip is that he didn't tell any of his co-workers about it beforehand. He just left work on Friday and started driving. It wasn't until after the drive and he was back at work that he told people about it.

A little lower on the coolness scale, is the story of a man named Winter, who has "dedicated his life" to visiting every Starbucks in the world. A DVD about his quest named Starbucking is being released this month. Read more here and watch the trailer below.

Happy Trails!

Uncle Jay Explains the News

2007-04-16T20:41:00.000-04:00

I missed a week of Uncle Jay Explains so here are two of them:

Sunday, Rainy Sunday

2007-04-15T07:43:00.000-04:00

Another washout today.

Rain, rain go away,
Joe and his kayak wanna play.

I don't think the weather around here can get any worse. We have had about a month of cold and rainy weather. It's spring for crying out loud. The temperatures are supposed to be close to 60 degrees.

About a month ago, one of the weathermen (or as they like to be called, meteorologists) said that we have a cold and stormy pattern developing in the Northeast and it looks like it is going to stay around for awhile. I laughed it off, thinking that, this time of year, when the sun is out, the temperatures shoot up to the 60's at least.

Well, for once the weathermen were right. Since then, the weather has been horrible.
Yesterday, I tried to go kayaking but the wind was blowing too hard.

Today, we are having a major Nor'easter in Connecticut. Right now it is snowing in northern Connecticut. Later this afternoon, the winds are supposed to be up to 50 miles per hour with flooding rains. Of course, the weathermen try to hype up every storm to be bigger than it really is, but at least some people put it in perspective.

This coming week, the forecast is for showers on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday!

How about a little humor to shake this gloomy weather?

Here's Will Ferrell in a short film called The Landlord:

Do you like puppets?

Here is Jeff Dunham with Walter:

More puppets?

This is Kevin Johnson with two of his friends:

Keep dry!

Sports Videos

2007-04-08T11:02:00.000-04:00

Whenever I see an interesting video on the internet (and I watch a lot of them), I save it for future use on my blog.

I have so many saved, I'll probably never post all of them. I think that some subject will come up that I can write about and incorporate the videos. Most of the time this doesn't happen.

In any case, here are a few of the videos I have enjoyed (or cringed at) recently.

This first one is a high school cheerleading highlight video by a guy named Simon. I used to know a male cheerleader when I was at UConn and, regardless of my preconceived ideas about male cheerleaders, he was a jerk. He was always bragging about how he worked out harder than any of the basketball players, how he could bench press more weight, run farther, and on and on. He was actually a little chubby, so I don't know if he was telling the truth or not. I kind of doubt it.

Here's the video:

Next is a video of a couple of Washington Wizards NBA players having a three-point shooting contest during practice. The players are Gilbert Arenas and DeShawn Stevenson. Arenas shoots one-handed, then acts like fool while Stevenson is shooting, but they are both pretty good shooters.

This video is from a slam dunk contest in Europe (?) where a white player tries to slam over a woman from the crowd. She should have known better:

The last video has to do with the most upstanding citizen, "Pac-Man" Jones. He is one of the worst of the worst when it comes to NFL players and crime. This video is definitely R-rated, so watch it at your own risk.

Oh, yeah, and Happy Easter!

R.I.P. Grandma

2007-04-06T19:05:00.000-04:00

My grandmother died.

96 years old! She broke her hip a few months ago and was home mending from that. According to my dad, she began having trouble breathing and was taken to the hospital where she passed away.

I know it sounds really mean, but I haven't talked to her in 15 years or so. The last time I saw her was at one of my brother's wedding- I don't even remember which one.
I know many kids are close to their grandparents and with both parents working, sometimes the grandparents practically raise the kids.

My relationship with my grandmother was not like that. She lived in Jacksonville, Florida from the time I was born, so the only time I saw her was when she would visit for a few weeks in the summer.

She was a great person. She lived on her own until a few years ago, was very active in her community and loved peace.

Unfortunately, she drove my whole family crazy when she visited. My poor mom dreaded the times she would stay at our house. Of course, my dad would leave for work early every day and my mom would be stuck with his mother all day long. These were very stressful times in my house.

Some memories of my grandmother:

My family visited her at her home in Jacksonville one August and my cousins were running wild inside (where there was air conditioning). One of them knocked over her TV set, causing my grandmother to freak out and throw all the kids outside (where there was no air conditioning). It was a miserable day.

My grandmother used to travel by train back and forth from Florida. She used to say she enjoyed the 30 hours or so it took to get to Connecticut from Florida: "They served me some very nice crackers," was one of her quotes.

One time my mom and us kids were waiting for her at the Old Saybrook train station. I'm sure the train was late and my mom was probably ticked off already. As we were standing on the station platform, a dead bird fell out of the sky and landed at our feet. Me and my brothers were simply amazed. Talk about a bad omen!

Another time, my dad and I were at the New Haven train station, once again waiting for a late train. Her train pulls in, everyone gets off, and still no Grandma. Finally, a conductor gets off the train helping my grandmother. If I remember correctly, she had fallen down during the trip but refused any medical help until she reached her destination.

In high school, we forced Grandma to watch MTV with us. The Whitesnake video for Here I Go Again comes on and that model is squirming the driver of a white Jaguar while he's driving. Grandma yells, "That's a good way to get killed." I yelled back, "It does look like a good way to be killed!" She didn't think it was funny.

That same visit, we were watching professional wrestling. Totally fake but Grandma is falling for it. A wrestler is writhing on the mat in pain, and Grandma's yelling, "He's hurt! He's hurt!" The more she yelled, the more we laughed. She kept screaming, "His back! He broke is back!" Very enjoyable.

She was always writing peace songs ("Peace. Peace. Peace is good. Peace. Peace. I like peace."). She would write letters to TV stations, trying to get my brothers and me our own TV segment to sing her peace songs. She would bring the lyrics of all of her songs when she would visit and force us to sing them. I think one of my brothers even played the recorder while we sang.

I could go on and on but this last memory is my favorite. It made a big impression on me when I was a little kid. My grandmother was up for her visit and she and my dad had a huge fight over something. He got so fed up, her called the airlines for a ticket, drove her to the airport, and forced her home on a plane. I remember how shocked I was. I couldn't believe that you were allowed to do things like that to your parents!

She was really a good woman. I think we drove her almost as crazy as she drove all of us. She will be missed and I'm sure she touched the lives of many people in her community.

I guess the only proper way to honor her is for all of us to join together and think of her. . .

. . . as we watch Here I Go Again:

Cold Outside, Warm Inside

2007-04-06T12:14:00.000-04:00

Can someone please tell me why it is 35 degrees and windy today?

I have the day off, packed up my kayak and gear, drove to the lake, and it was too damn cold to go in the water!

Now, I'm stuck inside. I mean, it got so bad that I just cleaned my bathroom. Don't worry, I washed my hands before typing this post!

Anyway, enough complaining for one day. I should be happy. I have a three day weekend, this is my last day without beef, and I'm on my way to the Cuckoo's Nest for lunch. I guess it's not so bad.

I came across a few videos having to do with bike messengers in New York City. The few times I've been to New York I've seen them bicycling in and out of traffic. I'm sure some get t-boned crossing intersections but it doesn't seem to slow them down at all.
I searched for some statistics about the dangers faced by bike messengers but couldn't find anything good. After watching this video, I'm sure that the life span of a bike messenger is very short. It's called "Bike Messengers On Crack."

This next video, however, is even more horrifying. It is a clip from a 1980's movie called Quicksilver. Somehow, I don't think Kevin Bacon lists this movie on his resume. Or maybe he does! Watch it if you can:

I'm not really into the pedal-powered bikes. I'd rather be on a motorcycle. Here a motorcyclist that would give these bike messengers a run for their money in craziness (and stupidity).

Happy Easter!

I'm Not Writing Today

2007-04-03T09:01:00.000-04:00

I have a lot of things I should be writing about.

I'm on my last week with no beef and it hasn't been bad at all (except for missing Ted's steamed cheeseburgers!).

I was kind of rude to a patron at the library Monday morning (which never happens).

"Gloom" hit a deer with her new car over the weekend (the third deer she's t-boned since I've known her).

Baseball season started yesterday (and the Yankees already have a one game lead over the Red Sox).

But I'm just not in the mood.

I'm not feeling down or anything.

And I really want to write about all of the events listed above.

But I'm not feeling like it today.

My mind is on everything I want to get done at work before I head out to Ohio for vacation. And I'm already planning what I have to bring with me (I'm up to 4 chargers (phone, cameras, computer). And I'm obsessed with stopping at the brand new Waffle House in Scranton, PA.

Anyway, not to be a real downer, but I've come across three versions of the song Hurt, originally done by Nine Inch Nails. This version is a little gruesome, so skip it if you can't stomach that kind of stuff:

Johnny Cash did a version of Hurt, also. It was the last video he made before his death. This is by far my favorite version and it's right up there with my favorite Cash songs:

Finally, Kermit did another version of the song. Yeah, Kermit the Frog!

Caution: Contains Drug Use By Puppets:

Last for today, here's the latest Uncle Jay video. It's about "deja vu" in the news:

Smokeshow Sunday (about Friday)

2007-03-31T22:48:00.000-04:00

I worked at the library on Saturday which means I had Friday off.

Friday started off on a bad note. I was puttering around my apartment getting ready to shower when the power went out. I waited a minute, thinking it would come back on. Nothing. Then I waited five minutes. Nothing.

After an hour with no power, I figured it must be something big and I wasn't going to be taking a shower for a while. I packed up my kayak and headed to Pattaconk Reservoir in Chester.

I stopped for a breakfast sandwich at Dunkin' Donuts and was at the lake before 9 AM. I almost didn't put the kayak in- the wind was blowing and the temperature was around 40 degrees. It felt cold!

I decided to blow up the Marge Barge anyway and I'm glad I did. Aside from a group of gnats that attacked me and my kayak, it was a great trip. Once I started moving, the wind wasn't very bad and the north end of the lake was mirror smooth. It was very relaxing (and much easier than my Connecticut River trip!).

I took a couple of videos (of course!). The one below actually has paddling footage! Click here for others.

After a couple of hours on the Pattaconk Reservoir, I came home to find power had been restored. I took a shower, then met Kevin and Kathy for lunch at the Cuckoo's Nest. I always like the food there, but the Shrimp and Scallop Cajun Pasta was outstanding. A good way to celebrate my last Friday of Lent and no meat.

From there, I bought $37.02 worth of car cleaning products. I took my car through a car wash (another 9 bucks) and once I got home I started waxing. I used the 3-step Meguiar's system so, in effect, I waxed my whole car three different times. Between kayaking and the waxing, my back was a mess!

I finished around 7:30 PM and my car looked really good. Unfortunately, it was almost completely dark so I could only take some night pictures of my handiwork. I made a Photoshow of the pictures, click here for more.

Not a bad Friday off. If it wasn't for the working on Saturday part, I would really enjoy not working on Fridays!

Miniature Wonderlands

2007-03-30T18:42:00.000-04:00

Thanks to the internet, I have found the largest model railroad in the world.

It is called Miniatur Wunderland in Hamburg, Germany. Much of their information is in German, but this is an HO scaled layout with over 1000 trains, 200,000 lights, and 150,000 figures. Click here for an overview of the layout. There are many different scenes, ranging from downtown Hamburg, to the Alps, to an America section.

There are thousands of different scenes, many with a bit of humor included. Click the photo below for many others.

In this country, we have the Panorama of the City of New York located in the Queen's Museum of Art. It opened for the 1964 World's Fair and covers 9,335 square meters and includes 895,000 buildings.

When it was built, it took a team of 100 people three years to complete. When it was finished, it was the largest scale model ever constructed. It was kept up to date until 1970. The next change was initiated in 1992, when 60,000 buildings were updated.

You can read more here and here. Click the photo below for a few more pictures.

On a sad note, one of my favorite sites, Forgotten New York, recently had a story on the poor conditions of Flushing Meadows Corona Park, where the New York Panorama is located. What was once considered to be the "crown jewel" of Queens, has been left to slowly rot away. Click the photo below for the whole story.

Uncle Jay with Peyton Manning

2007-03-28T19:33:00.000-04:00

Maybe Uncle Jay isn't as funny as I first thought, but I still like him:

Speaking of funny, Peyton Manning was recently on Saturday Night Live. While I'm still not the biggest fan of the Mannings (Peyton or Eli), this skit is hysterical:

"I think he's really hurt."

Connecticut River Kayaking

2007-03-26T18:59:00.000-04:00

After finally finding my missing keys on Saturday, I packed up my kayak and gear and headed for Pratt Cove in Deep River.

My plan was to follow this inlet out to the Connecticut River and then cross to the Old Lyme side. Being that this would be my second ever kayak trip, I figured that I would be paddling at least 100 times farther than I ever had before.

I put the kayak in the water and headed off. The temperature was just below 50 degrees and the water was still very cold. It took longer than I thought it would but I eventually made it to the Connecticut River.

That's when it got a little scarier. I normally have the feeling of being very low in the water and, while a 13 foot kayak looks big in my living room, on the water it feels pretty tiny. There was a breeze blowing from the south (not even a wind, just a breeze) but it made some waves that tossed my kayak around.

I'm sure most boaters would call the water conditions "calm," but being all by myself in the Connecticut River, it seemed a bumpy to me. I never felt like the kayak was even close to tipping, but I could definitely tell the difference when I left the cove. The waves were probably under a foot, but they seemed towering next to my kayak.

Anyway, I paddled up the river to Deep River Landing, stopped and had a banana (still trying to resolve my hangover issues). I decided to nix the Connecticut River crossing idea. If anything happened to my kayak while I was crossing, I don't know what I would do. There were no other boats out on Saturday.

The trip back was a little tougher- the breeze was in my face, the tide was against me, and my back was really hurting (I have to find a way to adjust my seat for more support). I took a couple of quick videos to show the "rough" conditions. The wind would push the kayak sideways pretty quickly, so the video is short:

I made it back to Pratt Cove and it was pretty easy paddling back to my car. It really was a nice day but, until the water temperature rises a little, I think I'll stick to places with smooth water.

Hole In One

2007-03-25T08:10:00.000-04:00

Why is there a photo of my golf bag at the top of this post?

Did I golf on Saturday? Did I actually hit a hole in one?

Well, I certainly didn't golf. And I didn't exactly hit a hole in one.

The story begins on Friday night after work. I met one of my coworkers in Mystic for a couple of drinks. We started at Azu, which was kind of boring and sterile inside. So we headed "across the bridge" to John's Cafe. It was a much more relaxed atmosphere and we started talking baseball with the bartender and a couple of other guys in there.

Needless to say, at an Irish bar, the beers kept flowing. For some reason, I wasn't drinking my normal light beers. I was mostly drinking Smithwicks Ale, from Ireland but mixed in a couple of pints of other types of beer.

I got home around 11:00 and headed straight for bed because I wanted to go kayaking early on Saturday.

I woke ready to go. Well, not exactly. My body hurt. My head hurt. I didn't eat anything Friday night, so my stomach hurt.

I wasn't going to let this stop me from kayaking, however. I had a book in my car about smooth water kayaking in Connecticut that I wanted to look at before I went. Now that I have a car payment, I always lock my car, so I went to grab my keys out of my pants.

I'm pretty particular about my keys. I always keep them in my left, front pocket. I'm always worried about losing them (I don't think I have spares for anything!) so I rarely let them get too far away.

So, I go to fetch my keys and they aren't there. No problem, I probably left them in the door (it happens sometimes!). Not there, either. OK. I probably left them on the table. Nope, no keys on the table.

A minor panic set it, but the keys had to be in the house, because I used them to get in, right? I did remember throwing a minor fit when I got home Friday night because I had a problem unlocking my door (thanks, Smithwicks!). I threw my water bottles and lunch bag on the ground when I got in so I started thinking I tossed my keys at the same time.

For the first hour of the search, I moved all my furniture, stripped the sheets off my bed, pulled the covers off of my heating vents, checked on all my tables, in the cushions of couches and chairs- all the somewhat obvious places.

Now I'm getting desperate. For the next half hour, I started checking in strange places, outside under my deck, in the toilet, in the 'fridge and freezer, in my trash pails (fun with a hangover), in the pots of my plants, in my dirty clothes, and on and on.

Finally, I did find them- in the last place I looked (if you can believe that!). I keep my golf clubs (pictured above) about 10 feet from my front door just in case I get a last minute golf date. I play a couple of times a year, but I'm always ready! I decided to empty my clubs out and turn over the bag. Sure enough, my keys came tumbling out!

With my little fit the night before, I guess I threw my keys and, somehow, they fell down one of the little holes in the top of my golf bag! It was a one in a million shot and I guess you can call it my first "hole in one."

New York City Pictures

2007-03-19T19:23:00.000-04:00

For about a year now I've been saying I want to go to New York to take photos of the Brooklyn Bridge.

Of course, I still haven't gone. The other night I watched a PBS special on the construction of the bridge. I had seen it before but it reminded me that it was truly an engineering marvel when it was built.

I recently came across a bunch of pictures on Flickr by a photographer named Arnold Pounteau. This album is named NYC at Night and I think they are the best photos I've ever seen of New York. An example is below. Click on it for many more great shots.

Next, is an interesting site called Shorpy: The 100-Year Photo Blog. The site is named after Shorpy Higginbotham, who was a boy who worked in an Alabama coal mine around 1900. There are photographs of everything from home life to work (including some pictures of man employed as a "rat catcher"). Click the photo below for more.

Finally, I guess I'm expanding my horizons a little. I actually discovered a piano video that I approve of that doesn't involve Victor Borge. This is called "Rachmaninov Had Big Hands." Enjoy:

Piano Music

2007-03-17T10:20:00.000-04:00

I was forced to take piano lessons when I was a kid.

I mean really forced. I'm sure at some point, when I was six years old or so, I must have asked my parents if I could take piano lessons. At least that's what they always told me. But I hated it from day one.

My mom played piano. Both my brothers enjoy playing. My sister still plays all the time.

Me? My piano career came to a screeching halt when I was about 13 and my dad tore up all my piano books (they aren't cheap!) after I refused to practice one too many times. Then, I had to call my piano teacher to explain to her that I would not be coming in for any more lessons.

I still hate the sound of the piano. Listening to piano music makes me very tense and quickly gives me a headache. I know I'm not normal, but I'm serious. I can appreciate the talent that it takes to play some pieces, but I don't want to have to listen to it.

The only exception is Victor Borge. I've always loved watching him.

Watch part 2 here. I guess he plays so badly that I like it!

Speaking of comedy and music, check out this video of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody performed by the Austrian brass ensemble, Mnozil Brass:

Next, check out this video of a group singing In the Air Tonight on the Paris Metro:

Humor?

2007-03-15T19:19:00.000-04:00

Robert DeNiro opened Saturday Night Live with this parody of a Homeland Security conference.

I thought it was hysterical. Knowing that DeNiro is a top-shelf actor (in my amateur opinion), but still has fun with this skit makes it even funnier.

The comments on You-Tube, however, blast DeNiro for this appearance, claiming he is promoting negative stereotypes. One of them states:

it's SNL, I didn't know. Regardless that it's SNL, or if Tom Hanks appeared on
it, it doesn't validate making fun of names that some people might not
comprehend. It's just not right making fun of any name, taking the long arabic
names and giving them obscene characteristics. This video isn't making fun of
the government, but the actual arabic names. Actors are actors, and we like them
for their performances, not who they are in reality.

Am I wrong to find this humorous?

I think the more serious problem is the targeting our government is doing on Americans and the abuses allowed by the Patriot Act. We'll save that discussion for another day, though.

As Benjamin Franklin may have said, "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

This little animated short sums up a few of the problems with allowing the government access to our private information.

"Mr. President, you're leading us off a cliff. Stop!"

2007-03-14T20:25:00.000-04:00

At least Jon Stewart can make me laugh at the insanity of this administration:

This Week's Uncle Jay

2007-03-11T21:14:00.000-04:00

Uncle Jay is taking a week off from the news but talks about our government this time:

I've also had this video saved of the opening to the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson but I haven't found any topic to add it to, so I'll just stick it here.

He begins most shows with an opening monologue where he picks a topic from the news and talks about it for 10 or 15 minutes.

In this video, he turns a little serious and tries to expose the sadness that many of the new outlets overlook when discussing the lives of many of our pop icons. Last week, he announced he will no longer be doing any jokes about Britney Spears, saying, "I don't want to talk about sick people like that."

Iced Out

2007-03-11T18:51:00.000-04:00

The good news this weekend was the switch to daylight-savings time.

It is really depressing when you get home from work in the dark and have to turn on all of your lights as you walk in the door. When I heard they were going to extend daylight-savings time by 4 weeks this year (3 weeks earlier in the spring, one week later in the fall), I was ecstatic.

Of course, as some of you know, I own many clocks and normally it takes me awhile before I get around to updating all of them. I was so happy this year, however, that I already changed them all!

And I don't want to hear anyone complaining, "But we are losing an hour of sleep." C'mon, it's a tiny price to pay for the extra daylight. Be happy you don't live in northwestern Indiana: they not only moved their clock one hour ahead for daylight-savings, but they also switched from the Central Time Zone to the Eastern Time Zone. In effect, they "lost" two hours Sunday morning.

Indiana is one of the more confusing states when it comes to keeping the correct time. You can read more here and here.

The bad news this weekend is that I wasn't able to launch my kayak for her maiden voyage as I had planned.

All the fresh water lakes are still frozen around here. I thought by Sunday, I might be able sneak in for a quick paddle, but I couldn't do it.

Some of my co-workers were worried about my maiden voyage.

Really, what could go wrong? The water temperature is near freezing, I've never kayaked before, and my swimming skills would make a 5 year-old laugh!

I did read up on the effects of being immersed in cold water. It turns out that in 40 degree water, a healthy individual can remain conscious for about a hour. The real problem with that hour survival time is that it assumes no exertion, just being balled up to conserve heat. Any movement (such as trying to climb back into a kayak or swimming to shore) can reduce your survival time to a matter of minutes. Cold water removes body heat about 25 times faster than cold air. Also, your hands, being one of the extremities that your body reduces heat to first, become numb almost immediately, making it impossible to swim at all.

Well, maybe by next weekend the water will be a little warmer, right?

On the subject of water sports, check out this video. It's called "Slip and Die" for obvious reasons.

Life of Smokeshow: Sunday Edition

2007-03-04T09:43:00.000-05:00

World's Worst. . .

2007-03-03T18:04:00.000-05:00

. . . weatherman:

. . . sportscaster ("boom goes the dynamite"):

. . . goalkeepers:

. . . singing in a stadium:

. . . bagpiper:

Ice and Snow

2007-02-28T20:22:00.000-05:00

I really like this guy Uncle Jay and his videos "Uncle Jay Explains." Here is his newest:

Last week was one of the longest, biggest, and maybe dumbest hockey fights I've ever seen. I've said before, I'm not a hockey fan and I don't understand why they allow fighting. Are there any other sports where the referees stand around and watch the players punch each other for a minute or two before deciding to break it up?

Anyway, this fight goes on and on. Even the goalies square off and then the coaches almost come to blows. Take a look:

Next up it a reporter coming to you live during a big snowstorm in Cleveland. I guess some people don't take the cold weather as seriously as others.

Finally, here's is some interesting ice that formed on Lake Superior. It's completely clear so you can see the rocks below the surface.

Some days. . .

2007-02-26T19:45:00.000-05:00

Some days. . .

I spend at least four hours of my day dealing face-to-face with the patrons at the library.

Most of the time it is great. I have met a lot of great people through this job. Nearly every day I have at least one interesting conversation with a patron. I'll learn something new or find out that the patron and I have something in common that neither of us knew about. It is always interesting.

Unfortunately, there are also patrons who are moody, annoying, and sometimes plain old rude. I could go on and on about the crazy sights I see every day.

Actually, there are library blogs out there that do a better job explaining the weirdness that I see in the library than I could ever hope to. My favorite is the Happyville Library.

Today's annoyance revolves around our patrons' fear of snow.

We live in New England, so whether we like it or not, it's going to snow in the winter. This year we have had it incredibly easy- I don't think we've had 6 inches all season. The towns in our area also do a pretty good job of clearing the roads (of course they also dump about an inch think layer of salt at the same time so cars look great after every snow storm!). Typically, within a few hours after a snow storm, most of our roads are clear.

Nevertheless, all it takes is the threat of bad weather and our phone starts ringing with patrons asking what will happen if it snows and they can't get in to return their movies.

Now, if it really does snow, forget about it. The library waives any overdue fees when the weather is bad. We don't expect people to take any risks to return a couple of videos. We have a lot of senior citizens and parents with young children who use the library, and I wouldn't want them driving through the snow.

However, last night we received our biggest snowfall this winter- about 3 inches. The snow was done by early this morning, the temperature rose to almost 40 degrees, and the roads were totally clear. And people were actually calling us claiming that they were unable to make it out of their houses.

Tomorrow, patrons will file in all day with a guilty look on their faces carrying a stack of DVDs. You know what's coming: "I'm sorry, they snow was really bad yesterday and I couldn't get in to return these."

Like I said, some members of the community shouldn't be expected to come out in bad weather. But these are young, healthy (I presume), active people. Am I supposed to believe, because of 3 inches of snow, they were afraid to "venture" out of their house? Somehow, I don't think so.

Of course, we simply waive the fines. It really isn't worth worrying about, but it does get old after awhile. I would love to lecture some of them. Tell them about taking some responsibility.

Speaking of lecturing, I found this video on the internet over the weekend. It makes me feel a little better. Judge Judy really lets loose on an obnoxious defendant. Oh, I would love to act like this- just once- at the library!

Kayak

2007-02-24T18:58:00.000-05:00

Alright, for those of you tired of listening to me hem and haw about buying my kayak, I have some good news. I finally hit the "buy" button and ordered the kayak tonight.

It's a hardshell inflatable (whatever that is!) made a company called Advanced Elements. I bought the 13' long AdvanceFrame Expedition and can hold 450 pounds. It has received a lot of good reviews and I purchased it for a good price from an Ebay store.

I'll keep you updated.

To celebrate, here are some water related videos. The first one is about a huge disaster at a Lake Peigneur salt mine. Watch what happens:

And here's a cool waterfall video:

Finally, I spent hours this afternoon trying to get my web cam to stream video to the internet like I did at my brother's Super Bowl party. After a lot of reading and changing settings on my internet connection, here it is. Enjoy looking at my TV:

New Edition (or New Kid on the Block)

2007-02-22T20:30:00.000-05:00

Man, I really hated both of those bands.

In case anyone doesn't know yet, my brother Alex and his wife welcomed a new addition to their family the other night.

Eli Matthew was born on Tuesday at 11:06 PM and weighed in at 8 pounds 11 ounces.

Now I really can't wait to head out to see them!

News- Simply Sad

2007-02-19T19:44:00.000-05:00

I'm all for simplifying the news and so is Uncle Jay, apparently:

He's pretty funny, actually. Or maybe it's just the news he is reporting that is so funny. I can't imagine watching the nightly network news with little kids. The questions they would ask!

Click here for more from Uncle Jay.

Uncle Jay brought up the death of Anna Nicole Smith. I was kind of bummed when I heard she died. There has been a ton of old videos posted of her (some I can post and some I can't), but this one is crazy:

Finally, speaking of sad and crazy news, did you hear about the guy who died in his home on Long Island?

Well, he died more than a year ago, but people just found out about it recently.

Seventy year-old Vincenzo Ricardo's mummified body was found sitting in his chair with the TV still on, even though he has been dead for over a year. No one in his neighborhood noticed until a pipe recently burst in his house. His cable and heat were off but his electricity was still on. The post office stopped delivering his mail when they figured he just didn't live there anymore but left his mailbox overfilled with mail.

Sadly, the police contacted his son who told them that they were estranged. It looks like Ricardo requested that his family leave him alone. Oh, man.

Louis' Lunch

2007-02-19T08:24:00.000-05:00

The good news this morning is that it is a bright and sunny and I have today off for Presidents' Day.

The bad news is the temperature is only 8 degrees and the wind is blowing at 25 to 35 miles per hour. Including the wind chill, it feels like -15 or so.

On the bright side, the temperature was 6 degrees an hour ago, so it is rising- a little!

I had this past Friday off and Kevin and the two-Kathys met me at Louis' Lunch in New Haven- the supposed inventor of the hamburger. Their website says that in 1900 a customer came in looking for a quick meal he could eat for lunch on the run. Louis Lassen, the luncheonette's owner, broiled a beef patty which he put between two slices of bread and sent him off with it.

The first hamburger was served.

Today, Louis' grandson runs the business where the burgers are broiled vertically in the original cast iron grill.

So we arrived at Louis' Lunch a few minutes before they opened and there were about 10 or 12 people already waiting outside. And let me tell you, the place is tiny! We had to stand outside for about 10 minutes after they opened before we could even get inside to wait in line.

We did find seats once we ordered (4 cheeseburgers with "the works" and 4 birch beers). I liked the guy behind the counter because he was wearing a Mariano Rivera shirt, but he acted like he was once tiny step away from tossing out anyone who wasn't abiding by his rules- kind of soup-nazi-ish.

The cheeseburgers finally arrived but they were gone too fast. If I were to rate the burger, I would put it one notch below the steamed cheeseburgers at Ted's Restaurant. The whole Louis' Lunch experience is great, however. It's noisy with lots of bantering back and forth between the customers and the people behind the counter and, did I mention it's small? You can hear it all.

From there I went to Ikea and then met everyone at Archie Moore's for wings. I must have been off my game Friday because I could only eat about 10 wings. That was kind of a let down, but they are still the best wings in the world.

Speaking of being "off my game," I only counted about 10 "I"s in this post. I say this because a co-worker of mine tells me I'm only concerned with myself and that everything always has to be about me!

Well, Jayne, just so you know, I want this CD set for my birthday:

And, by the way, the temperature is still rocketing up- it's 10 degrees now!

Mystic Web Cam

2007-02-19T07:38:00.000-05:00

Click below for three live Mystic, CT web cams.

You can control two of them.

Transportation Time Wasters

2007-02-15T19:21:00.000-05:00

Supposedly the picture above is of the corporate jet traffic leaving Miami, Florida after the Super Bowl. I don't know if it's real or not but it looks cool.

Sticking with the transportation theme, click the picture below for an interesting site about the construction and abandonment of the Cincinnati subway system.

They began planning the system in 1912, no trains ever ran on the line, and the debt from the project was not paid off until 1966. Now, of course, the government is considering a new light rail plan using the original subway's tunnels. Politicians at their finest!

Next, click below for a site that tracks all of the ships in the San Francisco Bay harbor. It shows where they are, the name and type of ship, speed, and destination in real-time. It will waste a minute or two of your time.

Finally, below is a video about a Kiwi who learns to "fly." Without ruining the movie for you, I'll say that it shows that, no matter how impossible it seems, any dream is attainable.

Happy Valentine's Day

2007-02-13T21:51:00.000-05:00

Not much to report on my end.

It was very busy at the library tonight with the "big" storm we're supposed to have later this evening and tomorrow. The threat of bad weather, brings all sorts of patrons to the library. Supermarkets see a big rush on bread and milk; the library is inundated with patrons searching out DVDs and videos.

We were also short one employee today as "Gloom" had another "accident" at work yesterday- more on that tomorrow.

Now let me just state, with the snowy/icy/rainy weather predicted for Valentine's Day around here, some of the hoards of women who are probably planning to go out with me on this great holiday may have to take a rain check. I'm sure it will take me some time to get through the expected backlog of dates.

Yeah, right!

In honor of this being the holiday of love, here is an interesting site I found on the internet. It's called Armed in America and they have a beautiful collection of photographs called "Portraits of Americans With Their Guns." What could be more romantic than that?

I know. I probably need some help with what I consider romantic.
I could try a dating service:

Maybe that's not such a great idea.
I could get some dating advice from an expert:

So much for that idea.
Wait, women like men who can dance, right? I could work on my dance moves:

Oh, I give up! Happy Valentine's Day!

The Kevin and Joe Rule

2007-02-11T09:05:00.000-05:00

I took Friday off from work and accompanied Kevin and Kathy on a trip through Rhode Island.

First of all, in case anyone is planning a trip to Rhode Island to hit the antique shops- don't do it! At least not on a freezing-cold day in winter. The wind off the water was bone-chilling, half the shops were closed, and those that were open were a waste of time.

Some of the strangeness we witnessed:

In the first shop we entered, we were followed around by an old lady shopkeeper who wouldn't leave us alone, looking over our shoulders as we shopped. Then she had us follow her outside the shop and around the corner to another shop she ran. She unlocked the front door and trailed us through a second shop.

Kevin saw one shop that looked promising on our map, but the door was locked. As we were walking away, the door was opened by the store owner so we walked back and went in. The owner was not the smartest guy I've ever met. The store was one big room and it was almost empty, except for some junk, a laptop computer (I'm sure their was some type of porn on the screen, probably involving barnyard animals), a motorcycle stuffed in the corner, and a hot dog stand. Kathy asked about the hot dog stand and the owner told us he sold vegetable burritos last summer. He lost money because the needed like 12 ingredients. This year he plans on keeping it simple and just selling hot dogs. Good luck!

We then watched a guy try to crank his boat onto his trailer. It probably would have been a simple process, except for all the ice that surround the boat and the trailer. I think the boater was crazy.

More strangeness occurred when we stopped for gas. I went in the little shop at the gas station to buy some waters and figured I'd use the bathroom while there. It was in a separate building so I asked the clerk if it was locked. He said no but handed me this big flashlight. I looked at it, then back to him, and he said, "No light." I said, "No thanks."

I told Kevin about it, but he decided to use the bathroom anyway. He walked in and asked the clerk for the flashlight, which he handed over without question. The only problem was that Kevin didn't know that bathroom was outside. So he takes the flashlight and starts walking around the store with it, going to the back rooms where all their supplies and the office was. And the clerk never said anything, he just let Kevin walk around the store with his flashlight.

I think Kathy was a little mad at me for my wise-ass comments throughout the trip, so I won't mention that she tried to kill Kevin and I three times with her driving. Nope, I'm not going to talk about the Jeep she almost pulled out in front of (this was leaving their driveway!). I won't bring up the fact that we hit something crossing one of the Newport bridges with no where to go except over the edge and in to the icy waters below. To protect my friendship with Kathy, I'm not going to talk about this.

We did make it back to Connecticut and met some other friends at Hot Rod's in New London. They make great chicken wings and now have nine different flavors. Kevin and I get a little excited when we are there. They have wings, beer, and a framed photo of Anna Kournikova in the bathroom- does it get any better? I guess once we had 96 wings between three of us.

So we started ordering some wings and the waitress came over to explain a new rule they have at Hot Rod's. She told us the price of the wings has gone up. Now only the first 12 wings per person are at the happy hour price. If you eat more than 12 per person, you have to pay full price. She continued, "Normally, I don't have to tell people about this, but I know you guys eat a lot of wings. So, I just wanted to be up front about the price." I think they should call this the "Kevin and Joe Rule."

I guess she's seen us eat wings before.

I should really look for an exercise program. Maybe something like this?

Spring Training

2007-02-09T19:12:00.000-05:00

"Pitchers and catcher report next week for spring training."

Is there any better headline than that?

That one line signifies that the end of winter is in sight, spring is on the horizon, and baseball is coming soon.

Really. Think about it. What could be better?

I haven't watched a complete NBA game in years. The NHL is a joke. I'm not a UConn basketball fanatic like I used to be. I look forward to the football season but those games are only once a week.

Nope. Baseball is still far and away my favorite sport.

Back in the Day

2007-02-07T19:00:00.000-05:00

My brother Dan told me a great story about himself and his car.

He was leaving the UConn campus the other night and rolled down his window while leaving the parking garage. Actually, he didn't roll down his window; the car has electric windows, so I guess he just "directed" the window to go down. As the window opened, he heard a strange "clunk" sound.

He has a VW Beetle (the new version) that he bought when they first came out. It's black and looks pretty sharp. It was even pictured on the company magneticflames.com website. Well, I think his car still looks good- I recently heard that his wife ran over the front fender while backing a big dually Ford pickup up his driveway. I haven't seen the damage but I think it gave Dan a heart attack.

Anyway, his car is getting on in years (and miles) and, like I said, the window went down and sounded a little funny. As you can probably guess, the window was stuck. Dan decided to try to drive home with the window wide open. Needless to say, with the cold weather we've been having, he didn't make if very far. After he almost froze his hands and half of his face off, using a lot of muscle and some choice words, he pushed the window closed. Now, of course, he can't open it without fear of it never closing again.

Maybe he should experiment a little and do something like this to his car:

As you probably know, I have a story for everything and this is no exception. After hearing Dan's tale, I remembered at time when I was a junior in college and invited my little brother Alex up for a Kiss concert at the Worcester Centrum in Massachusetts (Listen to this lineup of bands: Slaughter, Winger, and Kiss). This was a big event- his first weekend visit to UConn and his first big rock concert.

I picked him up and we went out to dinner at Woody's off campus. It was my favorite hang out at the time (they made the best sloe gin fizzes I've ever had). My friend Pete was our chauffeur that night. He had a black Camaro Z-28 with t-tops and a killer stereo. For some reason, even though it was the middle of winter, we decided to drive around with the tops off and the windows open that night.

Actually, when say "we" decided, I don't mean to imply that Alex had a vote. Pete and I decided it would be fun to stick my little brother in the back seat as we drove around the campus with the windows down, the tops off, and AC/DC cranked on the stereo so loud that we couldn't hear each other talk. Poor Alex. It couldn't have been easy to be my little brother back then. I remember him saying, "Guys, I'm really cold!" That just made us drive faster.

Other than the driving situation, Alex had a great time. The concert was great. Well, at least Kiss was. Slaughter and Winger couldn't compare to the show Kiss put on. And believe me, Kiss's claim to be the "Loudest Band in the World" couldn't be more true.

We got back to campus in the middle of the night and crashed for a few hours. Alex and I had to be up early the next morning because he had a cross country meet up near Hartford.

We were recently reliving this escapade when Alex told me something I hadn't heard before. When he lined up for his race in the morning, the starter's pistol went off and Alex didn't hear it at all. His ears were still ringing from the concert. He saw everyone else start running so he figured he better catch up.

Those were the days!

Speaking of cars and the stupid things that happen with them, check out this video. Paris Hilton runs out of gas and. . . well, watch it for yourself:

The Day After

2007-02-05T19:03:00.000-05:00

It's Monday, the day after the Super Bowl and I wish I had taken today off from work.

With all the excitement yesterday, I forgot to post this video. I don't know why I like it. I'm not usually attracted to bands consisting of fat, white guys who need to buy some larger t-shirts (or lose weight), but this video makes me laugh.

Like I said, I meant to post it yesterday but, after working to get the web camera working, it slipped my mind.

Speaking of yesterday, my brother and his wife threw a great Super Bowl party. They worked very hard, the food was great, and it was an interesting mix of invitees, both family and friends. Their kids are a lot of fun to be around and I'm even becoming a little partial to their dog, Penny (I know, Penny, you pee on the floor when I show up because you love me!). And I (somewhat) enjoyed hanging out with my sister's new boyfriend Ryan. He made an extra effort to introduce himself to everyone and fit in well with the crowd, even thought he didn't know anyone previously. Also, his pizzas definitely tasted the best.

I think my idea of streaming a video of the party on the blog was fun, too. I don't know if my brother's friend has recovered after being told that her breasts were centered on the camera for about 5 minutes (the camera was there first and she moved in front of it- honest!). A bunch of us enjoyed hamming it up for the camera and even my dad tuned it from Italy.

I'm going to try using it again. One idea that popped in to my head was setting the camera up at the library one day (so you can feel just like you are there, working with side-by-side with "Gloom"). Maybe I will stream from my kitchen one night so everyone who doubts that I actually cook for myself can witness it live. I'll see if any better ideas to use the stream come to me.

Other than that, I was very tired today and the patrons at the library were driving me crazy. I was going to rant about them tonight, but I decided not to. Instead, I'll end with this cool time-lapse video I found:

Super Bowl Sunday

2007-02-04T11:10:00.000-05:00

As you can see the party is really rockin' now. We had one girl puking all over the living room and in the tub in the bathroom! Woo hoo!

OK, the puking girl was Cayleigh, but still, it added to the party atmosphere.

Dan's been cranking out the homemade pizzas, the beer is ice cold, and, oh yeah, it's a good game so far!

Wash Your Hands!

2007-02-03T18:02:00.000-05:00

One of my co-workers is always telling me how bad it is to eat meat. Any meat. Beef, chicken, fish.

It's not so much that the meat is bad for you, but she doesn't like the killing of the animals. She has sent me a bunch of articles and videos about the cruelty that befalls animals raised for food. It is an eye-opener.

Of course, I (being a total believer in equal opportunity) have countered her emails with some strange ones of my own. Here's one about a woman who trains piglets to play piano. Or this one about pork rinds where they actually have a "pork rind porn" section, including women who have a pork rind fetish.

I am going to make a big sacrifice during Lent this year. I have decided to give up all meat on Fridays. That's right. My co-worker will supply recipes (hopefully with samples) for me to make every Friday so I don't succumb to the devil's lure of meat. To celebrate, I had the "Hungry Man" at Exit 23 Restaurant this morning. It consists of 2 eggs, 2 bacon strips, 2 sausages, a hunk of ham, 2 pancakes, and 2 french toast! Oh, it was good.

Anyway, I came across this video today of an investigation at a fruit and vegetable distributor in California. Maybe we should reconsider how healthy it is to be a vegetarian:

Seeing the people who don't was their hands after using the bathroom reminded me of something that happened at the library this week.

At the circulation desk, I can see down the hallway to the public bathrooms. A woman and her 3ish-year-old daughter were coming out of the bathroom and in a loud voice (so we could all hear), the daughter says, "But, Mommy, we didn't wash our hands!" I tried not to laugh, but it was too funny!

I'm off to visit my brother Dan and his family on Sunday for a Super Bowl party. Some of their friends are coming over and they are making home-made pizza. And my sister is coming with her new boyfriend Ryan (I'll have to practice my "bone-crushing" handshake tonight). Unless it's a real close game, I'll probably leave at halftime and be home before the end of the game.

Have a happy Super Bowl Sunday!

Pennies From Heaven

2007-02-01T22:25:00.000-05:00

I called my brother in Ohio this evening. He has two great kids (written about here, here, here, and here) with a third due in a few weeks. He always has a great story about the kids to share that makes me laugh. Of course, I also get upset because I don't get out there very often (maybe the end of April?).

Tonight he told me about his son's piggy bank. Jacob is five years old and was "counting his pennies," as he calls it. He now has so much change that not another cent can fit in his piggy bank. My brother recommended that he open an account at the bank. He explained to Jacob how they will hold his money in his account and he can take it out if he needs it.

Jacob looked at him and asked, "But how will they keep track of which pennies are mine?"

Watch the video below for some more fun with pennies:

2007-01-31T18:47:00.000-05:00

I admire good photographers.

I am always amazed at the way a photographer can see a scene differently than you or I would and then capture it on film. We have a lot of great photography books at my library and I peruse a lot of photographer's web sites. Most of them are OK, but every once in a while I will come across something that totally takes my breath away.

It's the same way with the pictures I take. Almost all of my photographs I find to be barely passable. Sometimes I get so frustrated with my inability to capture a "perfect" shot, that I will quit taking pictures for a few weeks. Every so often, however, I will see a scene that I just know will come out great on film. It might only happen in one out of one hundred or one out of two hundred pictures, but that one shot is what I strive for.

I also admire good authors.

I think it takes a real talent to be able to write a book- fiction or non-fiction. It's hard enough for me to write a few coherent paragraphs on this blog. I can't imagine the abilities it takes to write a complete book.

Anyway, I often wondered how to combine photography with books. I have tried my hand at taking a few photographs in a Yale library. It's called the Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library and, if you've never been there, I recommend it. They have a six-story glassed central tower that holds 180,000 volumes and then there are over 600,000 books in the underground stacks. The walls are made of thin blocks of marble that let light shine through. Click here for a great online tour. The best part is that they let anyone in the building to look around. Of course, they won't let you near the books but the building is absolutely amazing.

My photos in the library weren't so hot but I've found one web site that has some fabulous library pictures. They are from a book by Candida Hofer simply titled Libraries. Click on the sample picture below to look at some more of the photographs and get more information.

You Don't Know Jack

2007-01-29T18:34:00.000-05:00

When my sister was in high school, we would play the computer game You Don't Know Jack every time I would visit. We were addicted and the battles would be pretty heated.

If you've never heard of the game, you race against each other to be the first to answer a series of questions on a subject you choose. The game is "hosted" by a character named Cookie (or is it Kookie?) who taunts you repeated while you are playing. It really is funny and sometimes borders on being R-rated.

Anyway, I recently found an online version that posts a new sample game every day. I'm getting pretty good at it. Give it a try:

Tax Time at the Library

2007-01-27T10:39:00.000-05:00

Tax-time is not the time to be working in a library.

Somehow libraries have become the local IRS branch office. We get in boxes and boxes of tax forms every week and, from the beginning of January, people swarm over these forms. Very few of the patrons know what forms they need so they grab at least two of every one (and there are dozens of different forms). Of course, all of these forms are available for printing on the IRS website but that would be too easy.

It's more than 2-1/2 months until taxes are due (I should know as I am one of those people who wait until the last couple of days). Already the patrons are stressed over their taxes and these forms and I have been bombarded with questions. And it's only going to get worse. The tension rises exponentially as we get closer to April 15th.

Sometimes I want to laugh at these people and their questions. I want to tell them, "I'm single, no kids, and rent. I file my taxes online in about 45 minutes without even knowing what form I'm using. How am I going to help you?"
I bite my tongue, however. It's not the patrons' fault, really. Our tax system is so out of control and totally disconnected from reality that I can't blame people for their difficulties and confusion.

I wonder why more people can't see the benefits of a flat tax. You make more money, you pay more tax. You make less money, you pay less in taxes. Sure, it would be a radical change but how can it be worse that what we have now.

Anyway, I read (what I at first thought) was an interesting article about a couple in New Hampshire who haven't paid taxes in ten years. Ed and Elaine Brown don't believe the tax laws apply to them because they are not residents of "Washington, D.C., or other federal territories and that Supreme Court precedent had found that labor was not taxable."

before picture

They sent letters to the IRS requesting clarification of the tax laws and received no reply. So, after a decade of not filing taxes, they were tried in a federal court. They also chose not to hire an attorney, instead relying on the counsel of friends.

The story got a little more interesting when it stated that Mr. Brown is a leader in a national group called the Constitution Rangers of the Continental Congress of 1777. The original article only said that the group "protects the Constitution."

On January 18th, the couple was convicted of 17 felonies and will be sentenced on April 24th (April 15th would have been too ironic).

Here is where this tale starts taking a bad turn. According to this Fox News story, Ed Brown has said, "The verdict is in. I can guarantee you that all hell's going to break loose."

What does he mean by that statement? Well, it turns out the Browns live in a large, cement-walled house featuring a watchtower with 360 degree views of his 110 wooded acres of property. Brown claims the house is capable of generating its own electricity. He and about 25 heavily-armed supporters are preparing for a siege.

His wife is out on bail but is barred by court order from returning to her house. She has also said, "It's not in my mind-set or my character. I have no intention of returning as long as he's there."

after picture

So Ed Brown is set to wait out the federal agents, who he expects will swarm his house soon. "Live free or die," he said, quoting General John Stark and his state's motto. "What else can I say?"

Somebody needs to take a stand against the ever-invasive strength of our federal government and simplify our tax system but I don't think Ed Brown is the guy to do it. Unfortunately, I don't think this story is going to have a positive ending. If anyone hears any further news, please let me know.

Update #1: I just found this video from a hokey local TV station in Vermont. The interview is lame but you get to see Ed Brown's house and hear him in his own words.

Grammer, uh, I mean Grammar!

2007-01-25T21:44:00.000-05:00

I have a BA degree in English from the University of Connecticut.

It's sort of funny how I came to major in English. When I was in high school, I remember my class took one of these tests that are supposed to guide you into choosing a career path that matches your skills. Mine revealed that I should study math or engineering. What?! Math? I mean, I grasped the concepts in my math classes and always received good grades, but I couldn't imagine anything more boring than working with mathematics for the rest of my life. Plus, how was I supposed to know what I wanted to do with my life- I was only 16 years old.

So, when I started at UConn, I just randomly took classes (trying to avoid math at all costs). My sophomore year I was forced to plan a scholarly direction and declare a major. At this point, I had spent far more time elevating UConn to one of Playboy's top-ten party schools than improving my own GPA. I figured the School of Liberal Arts and Sciences was the direction I should take.

I went to a few meetings with the different departments but, when I went to the English Department, I was sold! I walked in to the English Department's lounge for an informational meeting and they had four huge couches arranged in a circle. I took a seat and looked around the room and. . . I was the only guy there! That's right, I was surrounded by women and they were all good-looking! I knew I had found my major.

Of course, it wasn't all roses! I always enjoyed books and liked to read (I did end up working in a library, after all), but these girls loved books. I mean, sometimes it was scary. I spent many classes with them where they would spend the whole hour arguing over the meaning an author was striving to convey in a single sentence of a book. Finally, when I couldn't take any more, I would blurt out, "Maybe the author had no hidden meaning in this line! Maybe he had a deadline with a publisher and he just wrote this sentence so he could get on to the next one, finish the book, then get paid!"

Obviously, my love life at UConn did not revolve around the girls in my English classes!

What I did take from my classes was a belief in the importance of being able to write clearly, concisely, and without (many?) grammatical errors. To this day, I can spot a misspelling or punctuation error a mile away.

After college, when I hit the working world, I was appalled at how many co-workers (especially supervisors) could not write a proper memo. Emails were even worse. I don't understand why, but many people believe you can throw all the rules of English out the window when writing an email. Most people don't even keep their spell checker on! I kept a huge file that had copies of all the ridiculous errors I received via email or memo.

Thanks to the internet, I've discovered I'm not alone in my disgust at lack of interest in following the rules of grammar. A few sites have collected pictures of obvious mistakes right out in the open for everyone to see. Click on the links below:

Apostrophe Catastrophe- It's an epidemic

Apostrophe Abuse

The Apostrophe Protection Society

Grammar Cop- Apostrophe Mug Shot Gallery

It's An Epidemic!

Literally, A Web Log

I hope you enjoy these and, if you find any mistakes in my blog, here's my email. Be kind, please.

Pay Phone Mania

2007-01-23T21:48:00.000-05:00

We had a guy at the library today using the pay phone.

When I say using the pay phone today, I mean all day- morning, afternoon, and night. He was going through some sort of break-up with a wife or girlfriend whom he loves very much. I know that because I heard him say it at least 20 times to different people on the pay phone. And I wasn't eavesdropping; he was talking in a voice that could be easily heard by everyone.

He had papers spread out around him which I assume were letters or emails from the lost girlfriend/wife. He read all of them to everyone. And over and over he said, "I'm not going to talk to her. No, I'm not going to call her."

He was told five minutes before 9:00 that we were closing and he would have to get off the phone. At nine, I went up to him and told him that the library was closed and what do I hear him saying into the receiver? "I love you. I care about you. I'm worried about you." He was talking to the girl he told everyone all night that he wasn't going to talk to! And this isn't some love-blind teenager- he was at least in his 40's.

But wait, it gets better. He hung up the phone, was picking up his collection of letters, and says to me, "Major business dealings in Boston." He expected me to believe he was conducting some big financial transaction! I just said, "Sounds like it," as I practically pushed him out the door.

So I got home and just wanted to unwind and forget about the day. Maybe there's something on TV. I flip it on and instantly realize what a mistake that was. Every channel was covering the President's State of the Union address. I mean every channel! Even the Spanish channels had it on (although I liked the translation better than hearing the President).

Seeing the State of the Union address (not watching it, just seeing it for a second before turning off the TV), reminded me of a couple of funny George Bush videos I've seen recently.

Enjoy:

And if you've ever wondered who is responsible for coaching the President in his speeches and appearances, here you are:

They Are Everywhere

2007-01-22T20:26:00.000-05:00

I thought the guy on this video was one of the stupidest people I've ever seen:

Then I was thinking to my self that the video is probably made-up. I mean, could that guy really be that stupid?

Maybe the guy who lets his 18 year-old girlfriend do burnouts in his 800 horsepower Corvette is the stupidest (especially if he films it for everyone to see). She sounds like she knows what she is doing- until the car starts moving:

But then I saw this video of a guy robbing a liquor store. It doesn't go too well. Now, definitely, I've seen the stupidest of all:

What's wrong with these people?

I think it all comes down to parental supervision- or lack thereof. These people probably never had anyone to knock them back in line when they screwed up.

What they need is a strong father figure. You know, someone like Red Forman from That 70's Show:

I think everyone sees a little bit of their own dad in Red's tirades! Some of his other great quotes:

Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.

[to Eric] So, this is how an engaged high school dumbass with no car, no job, and no money trims the hedges.

Red Forman: Do you know why Tiny Tim walked with a crutch?
Eric: Because he had a smart mouth?
Red Forman: That's right.

Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you? is because you're a dumbass.

[Eric catches his parents having sex, and they find out]
Kitty Forman: Red, say something.
Red Forman: It's more fun than it looks.

We're all gonna go to church and we're gonna have a damn nice Sunday.

Eric: [badly hungover] My head hurts.
Red Forman: That's your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun. But if you mix them, they can turn you into a dumbass.

Bob Pinciotti: You know Red, that hurts.
Red Forman: So does a swift kick in the ass.
Bob Pinciotti: You know, Red, a kick in the ass isn't the solution to everything.
Red Forman: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to disagree with that, Bob.

Red Forman: [to Fez] Hey, Ali Baba. Close Sesame.

If you ever do anything like that again, I will kick your ass so hard, your nose will bleed.

Once again, an open bar spells disaster for the Foreman family.

Dear Lord, would it kill you to give the Packers a winning season? Oh, and uh, watch over my loving family, blah blah blah...

Eric: I believe that everyone's political opinion is valid, and worth hearing.
Red Forman: Well that's perfect Eric. Use that line when you run for Miss America.

Kitty, I've got two stages: anger, and drinking.

Damn kids today. They wouldn't know responsibility if it walked up and bit them in the ass.

Eric, I thought I told you to wash up for dinner. I know, it's difficult to hear with your head up your ass.

I've been working since I was sixteen. I fought two in wars. Hell, I've killed people. I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy it...

I like the sound of a beer church.

Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs put their foot in your ass.

Yeah, and if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass when he hops.

[Red on young people]
Red Forman: Get a job, HA. It's just party all night, dance all day, and sex
everywhere in between.

Red Forman: I'm glad he's in prison for bribery. People like him give a bad name to Republicans.
Eric: Yeah, all the honest ones, like Richard Nixon.
[Everybody moves away from Eric]
Red Forman: What did you just say?
Eric:
Uhh... I said Nixon was framed, and Kennedy was a commie?
Red Forman: Damn right.

Red Forman: So, you mean, we met by you bumping into my ass?
Kitty Forman: I guess so.
Red Forman: Ok, but if Eric asks, I punched out a marine, defending your honor.
Kitty Forman: And, I wasn't drunk, I was reading for the blind.
Red Forman: Deal.

[to Eric] Happy Birthday. You know, the lawn's not gonna cut itself.

[Red watches Tv] Red Forman: Aw, Gilligan screwed it up. Why don't they just kill him?

You know all that rent money you've been giving us? I've been putting it all in a bank account for your college fees... or bail.

Kitty Forman: I want to have a baby.
Red Forman: You still got Eric. He's kinda like a baby. I can make him cry if you
want to.

Red Forman: [to Eric] This is the worst thing you've ever done.
Bob Pinciotti: [to Donna] You too.
Red Forman: You're gonna drive Donna home, and then you're gonna wait for me.
That's an order.
Bob Pinciotti: Ditto... Aww, come here. I can't stay mad at you with that cute face.
[hugs her; Eric looks at Red with open arms]
Red Forman: Get your ugly ass in the car.

Kitty Forman: You know, maybe Eric's test score is a blessing. It will be a good
story when he's a senator.
Red Forman: Senator? The word you're looking for is JANITOR.

Bob Pinciotti: You're my best friend!
Red: No I'm not!

[At Breakfast] Eric: Hey, leggo my Eggo.
Red Forman: Hey, leggo my foot in your ass.

Is that kid from not America still here?

Bob's always upset. He's a little girl in big boy pants.

What the hell kind of a world are we living in? 'Hey, let's date other people.' 'Hey, let's date other people, but ditch them and do it in a car.' In my day, we called them degenerates, and we STONED them.

[on taking care of Red's parking ticket]
Nina: I can't take care of this. You were parked in a fire zone.
Red Forman: I was buying some milk.
Nina: But what if there was a fire?
Red Forman: Then I'd pour my milk on it.

I'm... sorry that I took your money out of your little box, when I feed you and clothe you and put a roof over your head. Sorrrrry.

Yeah, you can't compete with those damn foreign imports. You know, if I had seen this coming, I would've shot a little straighter during the war.

Earl, I didn't make you too dumb to flip burgers. It's God fault.

[seeing Donna and Eric cavorting on the kitchen table]
Red: Damn it. That's where I eat dinner.

Well, I'd like to help, but not as much as I'd like not to.

Steven, you're 18 now. It's time to start being a man. And the first rule to being a man is you gotta spend your life doing crap you don't wanna do.

Hey, I go to church... just not during televised sporting events.

[on Kitty's new health food diet] Oh, come on! This isn't food! This is what food eats!

Kitty Forman: Here you are, Red. Breakfast, egg whites only.
Red Forman: But the yellow part's the baby bird. That's the part I want to eat!

Steven, I've come to think of you as a son. So I want to give you some honest, heart-felt advice. Get your head out of your ass.

Ledyard High School Winter Concert

2007-01-20T19:43:00.000-05:00

I was dragged to a high school instrumental concert on Friday night.

Actually, I wasn't totally dragged because we were going out to dinner first at Valentino's in Ledyard. All it takes is the promise of good food and I'll pretty much follow anyone anywhere.

Really, though, classical music isn't my thing. I grew up with two younger brothers that played piano, sax, trombone, recorder, anything they could get their hands on. And my dad was a classical music nut, who would stop at Cutler's Record Shop in New Haven at least once a week to pick up the newest releases from composers who had been dead for hundreds of years. Years ago, long before I-Pods and even shelf-top stereos, when he listened to a classical music record, the whole family listened to a classical music record.

Anyway, enough about me and my tough, classical-music-filled childhood.

A bunch of us from the library went to see Ledyard High School Music's Winter Concert. A Library Aide named Josh is an expert with percussion instruments, and Friday night was his debut directing the band for two pieces.

Even though we barely made it to the school in time (sorry, Jayne, I had to say it!), we got decent seats and settled in. Let me tell you, from the first piece, I was totally impressed by Josh and the whole band. They played all different types of music, from classical to jazz to Christmas music and everything sounded great.

As impressive as the band was, Josh stood out above everyone else. I've always heard from his family how talented he is but now I've seen it first hand. He had many solos during the show, but the highlight was when he conducted the whole band. He stood up in front of everyone and, with a confidence that belied his years, led his classmates in two pieces. He really seemed like he belonged there.

I really enjoyed the night and, with a few more years of therapy, I may actually start to appreciate some classical music.

I forgot my Nikon at home but did take some videos with my pocket camera. Some of the highlights are below, and I did post all of them on YouTube. If you want to see more, double click on any of the videos and, when the new page opens, click on "More from this user:"

Everyone enjoyed the night. Well, almost everyone:

Flashback

2007-01-20T08:52:00.000-05:00

I had a flashback recently.

I remembered a story I had written for school when I was a kid. I must have been in 3rd or 4th grade. When you're that age your parents (hopefully) love all of your accomplishments and tell/show everyone about it. It was like that with this story. It was the talk of the town; every visitor and relative had to read my creation.

It was a pretty good idea for a story I came up with. A guy is riding on a space ship when it hits some piece of space debris and he is tossed out an access hatch. He is all alone in the empty blackness of space. No sound, no movement, the only thing he can see is a little piece of dust on the inside of his helmet. He realizes at that moment that he is like that speck of dust- an almost impossibly small human lost in the vast universe. He begins to think of his girlfriend he will leave behind. He was planning on asking her to marry him when he returned from his trip.

Now, of course, being a little kid, this story has to have a happy ending. He knows that his only hope to be saved is if the pilot, his long-time best friend and the most accomplished pilot he's ever seen, realizes that he is missing and performs a "perfect circle" with the space craft. If the pilot can circle the craft exactly, he will end up back at the collision point and be able to save the lost spaceman.

Anyway, the spaceman is found when the pilot circles back (the only pilot capable of performing such a precise maneuver) and sees him floating in space. The spaceman is saved, returns back to earth, and proposes to his girlfriend. When she is given the engagement ring, she exclaims, "It's beautiful. A perfect circle." And there was the name of the story: The Perfect Circle.

Looking back on this, I must have plagiarized this story somehow. I really find it difficult to believe I came up with this on my own. I read a lot when I was a kid and I probably read something that gave me this "perfect circle" idea. Well, if I did steal it, I got away with it then and haven't been busted yet!

So, why did I suddenly remember this story after 30 years?

I found a video about a guy named Alexander Overwijk who draws circles. Actually, he is the world freehand circle drawing champion. He draws a perfectly round, one-meter circle in less that a second. The video is taken in a classroom and provides a little bit of humor when he is loosening up in front of the kids.

And, of course, the video ends with him stating, "A perfect circle."

Jet-Man

2007-01-18T18:32:00.000-05:00

Pictured above is the "Jet-Man."

His name is Yves Rossy and he is from Switzerland. It sounds like he is a somewhat famous (and mostly crazy) stuntman. As you can probably figure out from the picture and his nickname, he has developed a set of wings he straps on his back powered by two jet engines.

He jumps out of a plane (my dad would say a "perfectly good" airplane), sails for short time before pulling open his wings and firing up the jet. It takes about 30 seconds for the engines to "stabilize" before he can fly- kind of. His website says he has flown with "even a little climb rate." I think that's a nice way of saying he is hurtling towards the ground most of the time.

Anyway, I have to give him credit for pulling it off (and getting sponsors to help his pay for it!). I especially like the contrail behind him as he "flies":

Swarming Starlings

2007-01-16T08:31:00.000-05:00

Who wants some history?

OK, my co-worker with the bruised tail-bone, I know how you love my history lessons!

Do you know why we have starlings in the United States?

They occur naturally only in Europe, Africa, and Asia but were introduced here in the 1890's. A man named Eugene Schieffelin released 80 starlings in Central Park in 1890 and 40 more birds in 1891. He belonged to the New York Genealogical and Biographical Society and the New York Zoological Society.

Schieffelin also was part of a group called the Acclimation Society of North America. Their misguided goal was to share plants and animals with all parts of the world. From this idea, Sheiffelin set his own agenda: he was determined to introduce every bird mentioned in the plays of Shakespeare to the United States.

Because Shakespeare mentioned the starling in King Henry IV Part 1, he brought some of the birds over from England. From that small batch released in New York City, their numbers have grown to over 200 million. Their spread have come at the expense of native birds such as the bluebird and woodpeckers. Luckily, Schieffelin's attempts to bring bullfinches, chaffinches, nightingales, and skylarks to this country were not successful.

Starlings are strong fliers and are often seen in huge flocks. See the interesting videos below:

Finally, starlings are also known for the ability to mimic the sounds around them, from human voices to car alarms. If you can stick with the following video until the end, you'll be rewarded with a little bit of humor.

21st Birthday

2007-01-14T11:24:00.000-05:00

Today is my sister's 21st birthday.

How did that happen? It seems like just yesterday she was a little munchkin! Now she is in college and 21.

I remember when she was born and her face was all blotchy and her hair was sticking up all over the place. I thought to myself, "Man, I'll be 32 when she learns how to drive!"

I don't remember thinking, "I'll be 37 when she can go to the bar with me!"

Actually, when I was in my early 20's I used to take her to bars with me. I would make plans with my friends and then remember that I had babysitting duty that night. So, she would accompany me. She would always protest going to bars; I had to tell her it was a restaurant we were going to. We would get in there, she would look around and say something like, "I know this is a bar. There are no little-people here," or, "B-A-R. That spells bar. This IS a bar!"

So, I'm picking her up in a little while and we are heading to my dad's for a little party. Then, against my better judgement, we're going to have to head out for a drink.

Now, remember Mary, know when to say when. Or you might end up like this:

or this:

Happy Birthday!

A Post For Jacob

2007-01-13T08:33:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with cars and motorcycles.

It started before I was born. Really. While she was pregnant with me, my mom drove a '69 Nova SuperSport with a 350 CI engine. From what I've always heard, pregnancy caused her to become a much-more aggressive driver. She would get very upset if someone tried to get in front of her, and do whatever she could to be first through an intersection. Do you remember The French Connection car chase in New York City? Well, she drove those same streets.

Because I was riding "shotgun" during these drives, I totally believe that's where the obsession came from. You know how babies are comforted by the sound of their mothers' heartbeat? Well, I think the heartbeat I heard was the rumble of the engine. It's still my favorite sound!

When I was a few years old, my dad and I would ride his Triumph motorcycle every evening after work. I couldn't wait for him to come home so we could head out on the bike. We had matching Bell helmets and I would ride on the gas tank and be his official turn signal operator.

It only got worse when I was a teenager. All I read and talked about was cars. I subscribed to Car and Driver, MotorTrend and Road & Track. I memorized the specs for every car every year: horsepower, torque, 0 - 60 times, gas mileage, every little trim detail- I mean everything. I harassed my dad constantly about which car he should buy, which options, what color. I was relentless.

Anyway, as crazy as I was (am?) about cars, my nephew Jacob is just as obsessed with dinosaurs. He is five years old and is the world's foremost dinosaur expert. I know, a lot of kids know a lot about dinosaurs. I see them at the library all the time and some of them are pretty knowledgeable.

But they don't compare to Jacob. He knows the scientific name of every dinosaur, what they looked like, what they ate, how they protected themselves, where they lived, and on and on and on. If you have a dinosaur question, Jacob is the one to go to for the answer. His days are filled with dinosaurs. If there is something he doesn't know, he will ask and ask until he finds the information he is looking for.

Well, this post is for Jacob.

Currently in Australia, a $12 million show called Walking with Dinosaurs just opened, based on the BBC television series of the same name. There are 15 life-sized dinosaurs in the exhibit including a Tyrannosaurus-Rex. These aren't just stationary models, they move and sound just like the real thing. See the videos below. You'll be amazed.

Their website doesn't give any clue as to whether the exhibition will travel outside Australia or not (how do you pack up 15 life-sized dinosaurs?). If it ever comes to the United States, Jacob and I are going no matter where it is.

I'll drive!

To Watch or Not To Watch

2007-01-10T18:31:00.000-05:00

I can't remember the last time I watched a speech by President Bush. Do I really want to? I guess it's not really nessessary as all of the media outlets have already summed up everything he is going to say.

How 'bout this: the UConn men play Marquette tonight at 7:00. If UConn wins, I might be able to stomach a half hour of the President. If they lose, forget it. I'll catch the highlights (lowlights) tomorrow.

Stephen Colbert of the Colbert Report had some words of advice for Bush on last night's show. Have a look:

Sorry, nothing much else is going on here. I just need to make it through two more days at the library and then the 3-day weekend is here!

Here's some humor to pass the time:

Funny Bud Light commercial

Here's a radio station prank call (kinda mean, but . . ):

And, finally, have you seen any good windmill punches lately? They used to popular in grade school and it looks like they are making a come-back in professional soccer!

the windmill:

"Stupid Idiots!"

2007-01-08T21:17:00.000-05:00

I used two words over and over today at work: "idiot" and "stupid."

My mom hated both of them. When I was a teenager, these were my two favorite words. I thought I knew everything, and everyone was either "stupid" or "an idiot" to me. It's been about 20 years, but I can still hear my mom telling me how having that kind of attitude is no way to go through life.

This morning, one of my co-workers and I had to let off some steam regarding the work ethic (or more correctly, the absence of work ethic) of some other employees at the library. It started off fairly innocently but I realized that, by the time 5:00 o'clock rolled around, I really was consumed with this negativity.

And my mom was right. Complaining that others are "stupid" doesn't solve anything. It not only brings me down, it also projects a negative aura that affects everyone in my department. I really need to try to have a more positive attitude.

Now, Mom, if you can read this, before you get too excited that I am admitting you were right, there are a lot of idiots in the world. Thanks to the internet, I have proof. Just watch the following:

Oh, and one more thing. I was ironing my shirt a little while ago while thinking about "stupid" people. I guess I wasn't paying attention because (and this is the truth!), instead of reaching for the handle, I actually grabbed the hot (um, burning hot) side of the iron.

There should really be some kind of guard on there or a maybe a warning label! Who makes these things so dangerous?

Idiots.

FOOTBALL!

2007-01-07T09:11:00.000-05:00

Today is going to be a great football Sunday. Especially because I missed most of the football on Saturday and both UConn basketball teams lost, this better be a great day! The Jets play at the Patriots and then the Giants are at the Eagles.

Now, I know a Giant can rip an Eagle out of the sky and kill it, but I'm still confused when it comes to a Jet. Can a Jet kill a Patriot? I mean, is the Jet armed? Does it matter- what is a Patriot's musket going to do against a Jet?

Sorry, the above paragraph is an inside joke. But today's games do give me an excuse to post some football related stuff.

I'm a big fan of bad weather football and I hate the domed stadiums. I know some people think wet, muddy, or even snowy conditions reduce the excitement and cause the teams to throw the passing game out the window, but what other sport continues to play in such bad conditions? I'm a huge baseball fan but they cancel some games over the threat of rain. It's part of the allure of football- they play in the elements (except in Indianapolis, Detroit, Minnesota, Atlanta, New Orleans, St. Louis, Seattle, and kinda Dallas). In most of my memories of great games in the past, the weather was involved somehow.

Anyway, there's not much I can do about it. It's probably going to be in the 50's in both of today's games. And at least I'm not alone in wishing for a little bad weather. The sports blog 10 Cent Freeze Pops feels the same way I do.

Finally, here's my favorite football video of all time. It's a "greatest hits" video starring Jack Lambert of the Steelers. Yeah, I know, the Steelers aren't doing anything this post season except looking for a new head coach, but this video sums up a lot of why I like football.

Oh, and one last thing: GO JETS!

Rainy Day Steamed Cheeseburgers

2007-01-05T17:47:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I worked. The weather was beautiful- clear skies, temperature in the 50's.

Tomorrow is my Saturday to work (the one out of six I work). The weather is supposed to be even nicer with highs in the lower 60's.

Today was my day off. It rained all day.

Granted it was in the 50's, which is pretty rare in Connecticut in January. I checked- the average high is in the 30's this time of year.

So, what to do with my day off? I didn't want to waste a warm winter's day inside. Outdoor activities were out (or is it in?) with the wet weather. No hiking. No picture taking. No kayaking with the kayak I still haven't bought.

A while back, I read a book I totally loved named Two for the Road by Jane and Michael Stern. They live in Connecticut but travelled throughout America discovering new eateries before finally exploring some of the restaurants in their home state. One of their discoveries was a little place called Ted's Restaurant in Meriden and their relatively famous steamed cheeseburgers.

The story goes that steamed food became popular in the 1920's because people believed steaming to be healthier than frying food. Apparently, the town of Meriden holds the claim to inventing the steamed cheeseburger around the same time. In a few places in and around Meriden, it's done the same way today as it was then. They put meat and cheddar cheese in separate little trays and place them inside a metal steam box. In a few minutes, the meat is done and the thick, syrupy cheese is poured over it.

So today I decided to take a ride up to Ted's. After a few side trips along the way, I arrived at Ted's about 1:00 o'clock.

When I pulled up to the place, it was tiny. The building is ridiculously small and there is no parking lot- you have to find a spot on the street. I opened the door and was shocked. With the name Ted's Restaurant, I assumed a place with tables and waitresses. Nope. There were a few booths and about seven counter stools where you sit elbow-to-elbow. This place makes a college dorm room look spacious. There was also a line of people getting to-go orders.

I grabbed the last seat at the counter (luckily right in front of the steam box!) and immediately was asked what I wanted. I looked around for menus but there's no such thing there. They have a sign over the counter listing what's available but it basically comes down to a cheeseburger or a hot dog. I ordered a cheeseburger with onions and lettuce and the homefries with a Pepsi.

One minute later it was all served, the huge burger (about 5" high) and homefries on small, matching paper plates and the can of Pepsi with no glass. It couldn't have looked any better!

The burger was, indeed, like no other. Between the meat and the cheese it was, um, I guess the word would be oozing. I definitely needed both hands. Both the burger and the home fries tasted great.

The best part, though, was watching the burgers get made. The cook was Ted's son, Paul and running the show was Ted's nephew. He takes the orders and calls them out to Paul. Paul puts big hunks of meat and thick sticks of cheddar cheese into the little pans and keeps the steam box loaded with them. The box probably holds over 30 burgers at a time. Every time he puts one in or takes one out, the steam billows around him. When they are done, he dumps them onto waiting buns already with the toppings and the nephew grabs them to serve or wrap up. Peak lunch crowd and nobody was waiting more than a couple of minutes for their take-out orders.

After watching the show for awhile, I paid the bill ($6.25- it seemed like a bargain) and headed home. It wasn't a bad way to spend a dreary, rainy day and I certainly will be back.

State of the Union

2007-01-03T19:51:00.000-05:00

President Bush is set to give his annual State of the Union address on the 23rd of this month. A little history for you: the tradition started with George Washington's presidency but was discontinued in 1801 by Thomas Jefferson as too "monarchical." After that, the president sent a written address to Congress which was read by a clerk. In 1913, Woodrow Wilson re-instated the State of the Union address in its present form although some presidents have chosen to send a written address since then.

A website has compiled the text of all the State of the Union addresses since 1790. It really gives insight in to the history of our country and what was on the minds of the people. A lot can be learned from these speeches.

So, what should we look forward to in this year's address?

The news agencies are speculating that President Bush will address energy issues and, as last year, discuss steps that America needs to take to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels.

Another announcement that seems to be forthcoming at the State of the Union address is a "surge" in troop levels in Iraq. The reports are that the President will send 20,000 more troops to Iraq. This is the complete opposite of the recommondations Iraq Study Group Report and not what the majority of Americans want.

In my opinion, very few can make a more compelling, factual, heart-felt argument than Keith Olberman does on his Countdown show. On January 2nd, he stated his thoughts on sending more troops to Iraq in no uncertain terms. It was one of the angriest I've ever seen him.

It's in two parts. Enjoy!

Part 1:

Part 2:

2007!

2007-01-01T10:11:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year! OK, let's get the worst out of the way- I didn't even make it 'til midnight. I was awake but had already left the party. I was home before the ball dropped. The good news, however, is I ate enough at the party so that I do not need any food for the next three days! Really. It's 10:00 the next morning and I'm still full. And I never want to see another hunk of cheese again (at least until the football playoffs party next weekend).

Everyone who came brought way too much food and, as always, the hosts had more than enough to begin with. I was worried that the cops were going to pull me over on the way home for driving under the influence of lots and lots of food. I doubt I could have gotten out of the car to perform any field sobriety tests- that's how much I ate.

Did I mention there was a lot of food?

As always, we played the game "Ain't it a shame," a New Year's Eve tradition. There were a few surprise gifts rewrapped from last year. I was very, um, excited to see the Wyler's Light lemonade mix (1 packet) and the Jewish Book of Short Stories that I thought I unloaded during last year's game. All well. I'm sure I'll see some of the same gifts next year.

Here are some pictures from the night:

It really wasn't a redneck New Year's, even though I could see you thinking that after that last photo. Just because he was drinking beer and holding a rifle while playing "Ain't it a shame," that doesn't mean ANYTHING! Now, if he goes to work with that doo-rag on his head. . . well.

That last picture reminded me of a great gun video. Watch it below and listen for my favorite line: "I'm the only one in this room, that I know of, professional enough to carry the Glock 40." That's when the fun begins (or maybe it wasn't fun for the little kids in the classroom but I'm sure the nightmares have stopped by now!).

Happy New Year!

New Year's Eve

2006-12-31T08:57:00.000-05:00

I've come across a few interesting sites recently that I thought I would share. Sorry, nobody gets hurt in these links- in honor of it being New Year's Eve, there will be no violence today. The Southwestern Pork Stew is cooking in the crock pot (doubled the recipe and started exactly at 8:00 AM) for the party later so I decided to make a post.

I learned from the Wisconsin Historical Society website that at the begining of the 20th century, many rural towns realized that through post cards they could make their create a certain utopian myth about their area. Some photographers became well-known for their ability to phycially manipulate photos for so-called "tall-tale" postcards that, supposedly, encouraged settlement and growth of the area. Click on the picture for more.

Next, is a site of photographs by Shotaro Shimomura XXI (1883-1944). As you can read on the site, he was chairman of a huge department store chain (The Daimaru Inc.) who embarked on an around-the-world trip in 1934 - 1935. There are just two pages of photos, but they are incredible.

Finally, here are some pictures of Dubai, which, thanks to Wikipedia, I have learned is one of seven emerates that make up the United Arab Emerates on the Persian Gulf. After seeing this site, you would think that all this construction is being financed with oil money but, in reality, only 7% of their gross national product is from petroleum. You won't believe these pictures, but it's all true!

No More Death, Please!

2006-12-30T21:40:00.000-05:00

I just watched a video someone took with his cell phone of this morning's Saddam Hussein execution. I know all the news outlets would like me to feel good about this- it was called a "milestone towards peace"- but I just don't see it.

I recently read a book titled It's the Crude, Dude: Greed, Gas, War, and the American Way by Linda McQuaid. Granted, she is a Canadian writing about American politics but she brought up many points that make me begin to wonder about the future of our country and government.

In the mid '80s, Ronald Reagan sent Donald Rumsfeld as a special envoy to Iraq to work an alliance with Hussein, after our government helped him defeat a largely democratic government that was already in place. This alliance led to our satellites being used to aim Iraqi chemical strikes against the Iranian troops.

Now, we wage a war again Iraq heading into its fifth year, costing $2 billion dollars per week, and almost 3000 American lives.

Added to that, today is exactly 10 years since my mom died AND the UConn men had their first loss of the season!

Maybe today will be "an important milestone" as President Bush says, but I just don't see it.

On a brighter note, but not too bright, this video cracked me up (see, I still love a good accident video!). A Subaru rally car is being towed by a Land Rover when the steering locks around a hairpin turn. I love the reaction of the two in the Subaru!

More Death, I'm Afraid

2006-12-27T21:27:00.000-05:00

Jeez, this is turning into a blog of death instead of a blog of Smokeshow.

I'm sure everyone has heard that former president Gerald Ford has died. I'm a little too young to remember his presidency (and it didn't last very long) but I did hear an interesting fact about him. He is the only president never to be elected to a national office- he was appointed to the vice-presidency by Nixon after Spiro Agnew was forced to resign from office by scandal. Then, Ford became the 38th president when Richard Nixon resigned.

Of course, there is some humor in just about everything that happens in life and here is a little bit regarding the death of Ford. In 1996, Saturday Night Live ran a skit with Dana Carvey playing Tom Brokow and, well, here it is:

James Brown - Sex Machine

2006-12-25T22:52:00.000-05:00

As someone wrote: "I guess heaven felt it was time they got FUNKY, get on up dancing with the angels in heaven, James."

This is a live performance of James Brown singing Sex Machine:

James Brown dies at 73

2006-12-25T08:17:00.001-05:00

I was checking the obituaries this morning to see if any library patrons have died (no, I'm serious, I really do check, right after I check the police logs to see if anyone from my last job was arrested!), and I see James Brown, the "Godfather of Soul" has died from pneumonia.

That's too bad, he was a great talent who didn't take his act too seriously (and I think in his later years he was a little bit nuts). MSNBC wrote:

Along with Elvis Presley, Bob Dylan and a handful of others, Brown was one of the major musical influences of the past 50 years. At least one generation idolized him, and sometimes openly copied him. His rapid-footed dancing inspired Mick Jagger and Michael Jackson among others. Songs such as David Bowie’s “Fame,” Prince’s “Kiss,” George Clinton’s “Atomic Dog” and Sly and the Family Stone’s “Sing a Simple Song” were clearly based on Brown’s rhythms and vocal style.
'No one near as funky'If Brown’s claim to the invention of soul can be challenged by fans of Ray Charles and Sam Cooke, then his rights to the genres of rap, disco and funk are beyond question. He was to rhythm and dance music what Dylan was to lyrics: the unchallenged popular innovator.
“James presented obviously the best grooves,” rapper Chuck D of Public Enemy once told The Associated Press. “To this day, there has been no one near as funky. No one’s coming even close.”His hit singles include such classics as “Out of Sight,” “(Get Up I Feel Like Being a) Sex Machine,” “I Got You (I Feel Good)” and “Say It Out Loud — I’m Black and I’m Proud,” a landmark 1968 statement of racial pride.

Anyway, I was reminded of a movie he was in for an online BMW ad campaign a few years ago where, in one of the films, James Brown sells his soul to the devil to be young again. Gary Oldman plays the devil and there's even a Marilyn Manson cameo. What a great Christmas film.

Enjoy!

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-24T22:48:00.001-05:00

I found this video tonight- I think it's the most elaborate Christmas light setup I've ever seen!

And just to add to everyone's Christmas spirit, here's a photo I took last night at the Essex Steam Train:

That's it from me. I'm off to bed and can't wait to see what Santa leaves under my tree.

Oh, wait. I didn't set up my tree.

Uh oh.

Now, I'm in trouble.

'Night.

Ahhh, relaxing vacation

2006-07-08T23:12:00.000-04:00

Today was the type of day that vacations were made for. Relaxing, perfect weather, and waking up with Jacob and Lauren running in to my room screaming, “Wake up, Uncle Joe! Wake up, Uncle Joe!” as loudly as they can. At least they let me sleep until 7:00!

Alex, Jacob and I walked to downtown Bowling Green for the “Classics on Main” car show. We saw a lot of great cars and I got some pretty decent photos of some of them. I tried to get Jacob into the cars that way I was (and still am) when I was a kid but I think Lauren was more interested than Jacob. Jacob is completely engrossed
by volcanoes and dinosaurs. He sees volcanoes and lava flows where ever we go and is always asking questions like, “If a lava flow came down this street, where would we go?” or “Uncle Joe, if you saw a meteor coming towards your car, what would you do?”

Anyway, the three of us checked out some cars and then Lauren and Claire met us for lunch and we had some great cheese quesidillas. After, we all walked around looking at some of the cars. Claire then took the kids home for naps. Alex and I walked the whole strip then stopped at the Junction for some refreshment. We got a table outside on the second floor, overlooking all the cars on Main Street. It was the perfect spot to relax and take in the scenery. I really enjoyed the time talking to Alex without worrying about what kind of trouble the kids were getting into and I think he appreciated it also. A couple more days like this and I might never go back to work.

I told Jacob that when I came out to Ohio we would go to the pet store to replace his recently deceased fish. Tonight we finally had time to go to Petco and we bought two fish and a frog. Their tank looks a lot better with some fish swimming around in it. I also got Jacob a butterfly net so it looks like tomorrow we will be hunting for butterflies. I explained to him that the net is not for killing butterflies but only catching and releasing. We will see tomorrow if he gets the concept!

Kids Will Be Kids

2006-07-06T23:05:00.000-04:00

Today we all tried to recuperate from yesterday’s drive from Montauk. The kids let me sleep until after 8:00! I’m sure it was torture for them knowing that I was sleeping in their house but they weren’t allowed to wake me up.

After breakfast the kids went outside to show me their play set. Lauren is an expert on the climbing wall- you have to see the video I took to believe it. I was tricked by the kids into breaking one of the major rules: no opening the sand box until the afternoon. Alex and Claire plan it so the kids stay clean and dry in the morning, and, after their naps, they get dirty, take baths, then go to bed. Well, the parents weren’t around and Lauren asked me to pull the cover off of the sandbox. Within minutes both kids were wet and dirty (I got nice pictures of all of it). So much for their plan!

Anyway, most of our morning was spent trying to get the kids balls unstuck from a tree. Of course, Alex and I were acting childish while Claire was inside. We were showing Jacob and Lauren how high we can throw their playground balls, which turned into a contest to see who can throw it the highest. One ball got stuck in the tree. So we used the other ball to try to knock it down. Before we knew it, we had two balls stuck.

This is where it got interesting. We tried using a third playground ball to knock the other balls loose. First, we threw it up in the tree. Didn’t work and our arms were feeling like lead. Then, I thought we could get more power behind it by kicking it. More power but less control. Didn’t work. Claire now came out to watch what we were doing. She was probably mostly concerned that we didn’t hurt Jacob or Lauren, but she also likes watching us making fools of ourselves. Next, Alex got a wiffle ball bat and we started hitting the ball in the tree. That got a lot of power. We had the most success when Alex pitched it to me but all we succeeded in doing was knocking a lot of branches and leaves out of the tree.

The last idea was nerf-type football. I actually hit one of the balls a few times throwing the football and it was looking good. Unfortunately, one of my throws went right through the tree and ended up stuck in a different tree. It was lunchtime, the kids were dirty, our arms were tired, and Claire signaled an end to our game. We checked again this afternoon and all three balls are still stuck (we were kinda hoping the wind might blow them down).

We’re off the Toledo Zoo tomorrow morning, but after that we might come up with some new ideas for getting the balls down!

Drive to Ohio

2006-07-06T00:02:00.000-04:00

Well, it’s 7:55 PM on Wednesday as I'm typing this and we are about 2 hours away from Bowling Green. Alex and I are in the front seat listening to the Yankee game (on Cleveland Indian radio), Jacob and Lauren are in the second row watching a dinosaur DVD, and Claire has the third row to herself (although she is surrounded by luggage and supplies, including a bag with my dirty underwear).

We’ve had a very long day. We left Montauk at 5:30 AM, worried that we would be stuck in traffic driving across Long Island, and then get slowed down again in New York City. Strangely, we had a smooth and quiet ride through New York. As soon as we crossed the George Washington Bridge, however, traffic jammed up for about an hour and a half. It was stop and go for miles (more stop than go) because of an overturned tractor trailer. Near the Delaware Water Gap, we also had a long jam up, and another one just over the border into Ohio. So, we made it through NY fine—it was the rest of the ride that was the problem.

The biggest news of the day was that Jacob had an accident with his penis early in the trip. Yes, I said penis. Somehow, he pinched it between the restraints of his car seat and his shorts and underwear. We don’t really know exactly how it happened but we know Jacob’s reaction to the pain- it was LOUD! Since then, whenever Jacob gets his penis in the wrong position in his pants, he starts screaming, “My penis!” or “My penis hurts when I touch it!” I laugh every time; I can’t help it. He also wants to show all of us his boo-boo every time we stop for a bathroom break. Poor kid!
Lauren is doing great on the trip- her only injury has been a bitten tongue while eating a cheese stick and she recovered from that pretty quickly. She was up really late last night watching fireworks and didn’t take her nap today so I’m sure a major break down is on the horizon. Until then, we’re having fun.

We had a great day in Montauk yesterday, which started at 6:30 in the morning for me. We got some breakfast and headed for the beach. Jacob and Lauren are volcano crazy! As soon as we picked our spot, Jacob built a volcano and he and his dad spend the next hour running to the water for buckets of “lava” and erupting the volcano with it. Even though Claire warned me that I would not be able to read with the kids around, I brought my book with me to the beach. Guess what? Claire was right!

While the kids were napping in the afternoon, Alex and I walked down town to buy some sandwiches. I then talked him into walking the couple of miles down the road to the LIRR Montauk Station. It looked like a quaint little station when I passed it the night before after Alex picked me up at the ferry dock. I though I could get some good photos. We did get to see four trains (two getting ready to pull out), but it was not as picturesque as it looked the night before. I didn’t think it was worth the ½ hour walk down a busy road, and Alex was less impressed than I was.

Next, we gathered up Claire and the kids and went to the Montauk Lighthouse (or courthouse as Jacob and Lauren called it). We climbed some rocks, went out for some pizza, tried to cook some marshmallows (they only had minis at the store), and then waited for the big fireworks show. After the fireworks display, we packed our bags and hit the hay for our early start today.

I’m sure after we get a few hours of sleep tonight, we’ll be ready to go again tomorrow morning!

Before the Trip

2006-06-30T22:00:00.000-04:00

Well, here it is. Even though I've recently been "forced" to take about 5 days vacation in the past few weeks, tomorrow starts my "official" vacation week. I am going to New York to see the musical Wicked with friends from work. It should be fun- except for the part about meeting the bus at 7:00 in the morning.

Then on Monday I leave for Montauk to meet up with my brother and his family. From there we are driving out to his house in Ohio. It should be an adventure!